The sharing taught by Jeshua, the Nazarene, an itinerant stone-cutter, seems missing at the Uncle Sam tea parties.
His Buddhist teachers talked somewhat differently: the itinerant healer model was based as much on sharing as on barter (Yeshua, that is - not 'Sam' who is a fictitious icon.)
But once repealed, us (those touched by Grace, I suppose) will try to get more surgical bang for our buck outa those friendly not-so-big sickness-unto-death insurance companies.
It's as good as money in an unregulated bank (an Evangelical Savin-n-Loans) without that Commie-plot FDIC of those FDR'ers.
Oh, btw, the insurance actuaries program in APL (from satanic farma-Kanada) which looks like Greek. Geee-suhs!
PS
we will keep medicare and social insecurity for gramps cuz without it how could we afford to tithe our 10% and still keep that ole geezer from groaning on the sofa bed downstairs ... he's groaning now in the Hotel-8 elder-hostel on the I-40 service road jess fine, thank all ya'll very much.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Jon Stewart Nonsense Trumps Palin
Jon Stewart's interview with Marilynn Robinson was beyond belief. Jon knows that astrophysics is based on faith. The rationality of science reduces to fideism. Truly sophomoric.
I will just stop watching or listening to Jonathon Stuart Leibowitz - the interview was not amusing, or informative or satirical or ironic - it was just dumb. Compare any interview with Murray Gell-Mann. So astronomy will now be on a par with astrology. What was the David Hilbert quote? Or do we defer to Ronald Reagan's insight? Careful observation led to the dark matter hypothesis as much as esoteric theory: so dark matter is "Devil's Dung" or is it "souls of infidels". Pick your ignorance, Jon!
"If one were to bring ten of the wisest men in the world together and ask them what was the most stupid thing in existence, they would not be able to discover anything so stupid as astrology. "
attributed to mathematician David Hilbert
"I don't guide my life by it ... I don't know enough about it to say, is there something to it or not ... and I don't mean to offend anyone who does believe in it, or engages in it."
Ronald Reagan on astrology
But will he interview the woman whose careful science gave us some of the first observational evidence for dark matter??? And will her personal views on mystery and faith be of any interest? Her views on sex? On vegetables? What she thinks causes her occasional constipation?
I will just stop watching or listening to Jonathon Stuart Leibowitz - the interview was not amusing, or informative or satirical or ironic - it was just dumb. Compare any interview with Murray Gell-Mann. So astronomy will now be on a par with astrology. What was the David Hilbert quote? Or do we defer to Ronald Reagan's insight? Careful observation led to the dark matter hypothesis as much as esoteric theory: so dark matter is "Devil's Dung" or is it "souls of infidels". Pick your ignorance, Jon!
"If one were to bring ten of the wisest men in the world together and ask them what was the most stupid thing in existence, they would not be able to discover anything so stupid as astrology. "
attributed to mathematician David Hilbert
"I don't guide my life by it ... I don't know enough about it to say, is there something to it or not ... and I don't mean to offend anyone who does believe in it, or engages in it."
Ronald Reagan on astrology
But will he interview the woman whose careful science gave us some of the first observational evidence for dark matter??? And will her personal views on mystery and faith be of any interest? Her views on sex? On vegetables? What she thinks causes her occasional constipation?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Palin Yahoo! News
News item.
Oh yes, or should I say "Eureka!"
The Yahoo! News item of Tue Jun 29, 3:42 pm ET was posted credits to Liz Goodwin .
In the news pic the non-sentence Latin motto for the college is in full view: "Vox Veritas Vita".
Or as I would have this one in a mere Italian non-phrase topic sequence: Voce Verita Vita.
v. "botched"
Oh yes, or should I say "Eureka!"
The Yahoo! News item of Tue Jun 29, 3:42 pm ET was posted credits to Liz Goodwin .
In the news pic the non-sentence Latin motto for the college is in full view: "Vox Veritas Vita".
Or as I would have this one in a mere Italian non-phrase topic sequence: Voce Verita Vita.
v. "botched"
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Palin and the Baptist
In case you missed the salon.com story on Palin and the Baptist preacher who refuses to condemn all gays, lesbians and transexuals ... and think that she knows anything about Iran and the Holocaust.
Palin may have missed that course on "20th Century History for Journalism Students" when she was flip-flopping from one of her five (or was it six?) colleges before she somehow got her degree ... during the first months of the Russian invasion of Poland (that was fall 1939, Gov'nor P.) ... some Polish refugees did come to find shelter in Persia. The Nuremberg Laws were passed BEFORE we got to work on atomic bombs. The Warsaw Ghetto was slaughtered BEFORE the Poles were slaughtered in Warsaw (as the Russians waited east of the Vistula.) The French police were the main force rounding up Jews in France. Most Jews in Bulgaria - like most in Denmark - survived. Raoul Wallenberg disappeared at the hands of the Russians.
I know - it's complicated. Many people refused to believe the Jews were actually being gassed. It guess it kind just happened - sorta like, you know, "dropping the big one!" Many people believe the Iranians are trying to build nuclear weapons. And Obama is jest afeard to drop in a few bunk-busters! Heck, you don't go after moose with a .22 - do you Dad? (Her Dad knows all about ammunition but her got caught up in that dinosaur hoax and now thinks the World is more than 7000 years old, silly ole fool ... but he was just teaching science - it's not like he was peddling that baloney at Sunday Schools to corrupt our innocent children!)
Iran is complicated. Sometimes they call it Persia. Sometimes they speak Farsi and then they go an get a notion to goin' back to speakin' PErsian. Before our new CIA over-threw the Iranian government to install our friend and yours, the Shah, the Jews of Tehran lived in relative peace. Very naive of them. The Ayatollah was living openly in France. Only in recent years - really just since Arnold became Gov'nor - the middle-class and professional Jews of Iran have fled to Los Angeles (oops, they are on the West Coast and may vote progressive-liberal-communist-Dimocrat.)
Was it the United States which interfered with Jews emigrating from 1946 Europe to anywhere other than Palestine? Heck no! Were those conservative members of the State Department or liberals? And did France help? Should we have offerd the DP's of Europe a new home in Alaska from where they could almost see the "home" provided in Stalin's autonomous Jewish republic as far from Moscow and Leningrad as he could find on the map? Are you kidding? What would they know about salmon fishin' and moose hunting - and most all of that we do on Saturdays anyway!
Well. it's just so dang complicated. And the three words "Israel", and "Iran" and "Obama" all fit neatly on one hand. And of course Netanyahu has been organizing get-togethers - "Come on in for tea!" - at new settlements all over the West Bank and Arabs are welcome there, too! (say, Bill, is that the West Bank of the "blue" Nile or the "white" Nile? - and whose on the East Bank? - Istanbowl or Constandinopel?
Of course, if anything ever DID happen to the State of Israel, The End of Days might have to be re-scheduled - but, heck, that's happened before, right? RAPTURE! Moose-hunting in heaven means never having to say "re-load!"
PS Pelosi might be the Anti-Christ! Cuz anything's possible, right? You-Bitcha!
(per SarahP)
Palin may have missed that course on "20th Century History for Journalism Students" when she was flip-flopping from one of her five (or was it six?) colleges before she somehow got her degree ... during the first months of the Russian invasion of Poland (that was fall 1939, Gov'nor P.) ... some Polish refugees did come to find shelter in Persia. The Nuremberg Laws were passed BEFORE we got to work on atomic bombs. The Warsaw Ghetto was slaughtered BEFORE the Poles were slaughtered in Warsaw (as the Russians waited east of the Vistula.) The French police were the main force rounding up Jews in France. Most Jews in Bulgaria - like most in Denmark - survived. Raoul Wallenberg disappeared at the hands of the Russians.
I know - it's complicated. Many people refused to believe the Jews were actually being gassed. It guess it kind just happened - sorta like, you know, "dropping the big one!" Many people believe the Iranians are trying to build nuclear weapons. And Obama is jest afeard to drop in a few bunk-busters! Heck, you don't go after moose with a .22 - do you Dad? (Her Dad knows all about ammunition but her got caught up in that dinosaur hoax and now thinks the World is more than 7000 years old, silly ole fool ... but he was just teaching science - it's not like he was peddling that baloney at Sunday Schools to corrupt our innocent children!)
Iran is complicated. Sometimes they call it Persia. Sometimes they speak Farsi and then they go an get a notion to goin' back to speakin' PErsian. Before our new CIA over-threw the Iranian government to install our friend and yours, the Shah, the Jews of Tehran lived in relative peace. Very naive of them. The Ayatollah was living openly in France. Only in recent years - really just since Arnold became Gov'nor - the middle-class and professional Jews of Iran have fled to Los Angeles (oops, they are on the West Coast and may vote progressive-liberal-communist-Dimocrat.)
Was it the United States which interfered with Jews emigrating from 1946 Europe to anywhere other than Palestine? Heck no! Were those conservative members of the State Department or liberals? And did France help? Should we have offerd the DP's of Europe a new home in Alaska from where they could almost see the "home" provided in Stalin's autonomous Jewish republic as far from Moscow and Leningrad as he could find on the map? Are you kidding? What would they know about salmon fishin' and moose hunting - and most all of that we do on Saturdays anyway!
Well. it's just so dang complicated. And the three words "Israel", and "Iran" and "Obama" all fit neatly on one hand. And of course Netanyahu has been organizing get-togethers - "Come on in for tea!" - at new settlements all over the West Bank and Arabs are welcome there, too! (say, Bill, is that the West Bank of the "blue" Nile or the "white" Nile? - and whose on the East Bank? - Istanbowl or Constandinopel?
Of course, if anything ever DID happen to the State of Israel, The End of Days might have to be re-scheduled - but, heck, that's happened before, right? RAPTURE! Moose-hunting in heaven means never having to say "re-load!"
PS Pelosi might be the Anti-Christ! Cuz anything's possible, right? You-Bitcha!
(per SarahP)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Palin on Iran
Here she is at Facebook. Of course we got the whole problem started by Cold War hysteria about a socialist (elected) government in Iran which hawks such as herself permitted the CIA to over-throw with a "private army" (not really a militia.)
So the US - I mean Obama - is the problem here and not China, France, Russia and Turkey (ignoring Syria.) China and Russia may have been the largest obstacle, so we can suppose that Palin policies toward China and Russia would have had them lining up on our side ... hmmm. Not very damn likely. A President Hilary Clinton, perhaps so.
Note no mention of the Russian-American agreement on nuclear arms reduction ...
And then there are those pesky Envangelical Pentecostal missionaries annoying a variety of nations ... but of course we can tell the Prime Minister of India that President Palin is not "really" donating to those missionaries in Hindu, Jain, Sikh or Moslem villages.
Real politics. Time to re-load!
So the US - I mean Obama - is the problem here and not China, France, Russia and Turkey (ignoring Syria.) China and Russia may have been the largest obstacle, so we can suppose that Palin policies toward China and Russia would have had them lining up on our side ... hmmm. Not very damn likely. A President Hilary Clinton, perhaps so.
Note no mention of the Russian-American agreement on nuclear arms reduction ...
And then there are those pesky Envangelical Pentecostal missionaries annoying a variety of nations ... but of course we can tell the Prime Minister of India that President Palin is not "really" donating to those missionaries in Hindu, Jain, Sikh or Moslem villages.
Real politics. Time to re-load!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Palin at the T-intersection of the ole country road
CNN reports that
Pentecostal Evangelists in Canada - a tiny minority - have been more successful in many ways than any other crank minority in influencing a conservative political movement. Of course, Palin denies that she is a Pentecostal: she simply attends Pentecostal churches. The approach in Canada has been to get people of the radical faith into politics under other banners.
What would a "Tea Party" in New York or Washington be today? A riot only? What revolution do the gun-toters imagine they are about to ram down the people's throats? In Canada the aims have not always been modest - but eventually moderated.
Whether Palin will sign a "Covenant of Civility" remains to be seen: her raving followers may not have such scruples.
"take back our country" - but from whom and for whom and in the name of what? All this to abolish Social Security and Medicare? To abolish the Federal Reserve? To abolish the the EPA? To "restore" single-party politics? To remove term limits for true Christian conservatives wearing the badge of permanent revolution?
Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin kicked off a Tea Party rally Saturday in Sen. Harry Reid's hometown, encouraging disgruntled Americans to "take back our country"The call for "conservative revolution" was also made in the 1920's in Europe in what was then the Weimar Republic. Conservative fanaticism differs little from one setting to another: Russophiles for Putin, Mullahs in Iran, Iraq, Turkey, Egypt ...
Pentecostal Evangelists in Canada - a tiny minority - have been more successful in many ways than any other crank minority in influencing a conservative political movement. Of course, Palin denies that she is a Pentecostal: she simply attends Pentecostal churches. The approach in Canada has been to get people of the radical faith into politics under other banners.
What would a "Tea Party" in New York or Washington be today? A riot only? What revolution do the gun-toters imagine they are about to ram down the people's throats? In Canada the aims have not always been modest - but eventually moderated.
Whether Palin will sign a "Covenant of Civility" remains to be seen: her raving followers may not have such scruples.
"take back our country" - but from whom and for whom and in the name of what? All this to abolish Social Security and Medicare? To abolish the Federal Reserve? To abolish the the EPA? To "restore" single-party politics? To remove term limits for true Christian conservatives wearing the badge of permanent revolution?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
On the other hand ...
What is it that one must never find on the right hand? Nothing sinister I hope ... not that it would be something we would have in common with Him - we who are cast in His image - so what would be dextrous for Him, is merely sinister in us ... did I say "it" ? Holy sh*t! Don't tell me it's another damned objection to the the physical ascension!?! Somethings should never see the light of day!
On the other hand, what we could have is a new approach to the inevitable realization of the immaculate conception ... or of papal infallibility, whichever came first ... the right-handed chicken or the left-handed egg ... it is writ large somewheres ...
On the other hand, what if the Logos were actually merely an Indication, palmed off on us, so to speak, so as to keep us at arm's length from the Ineffable, the Immaterial and the Unmentionable?
The IIU, known to the uninitiated as the UII and spoken of in the presence of women - even in their suspected earshot - as the IUI, the triune vocable revealing that on each hand God had two thumbs and three fingers in perfect symmetry.
On the other hand, what we could have is a new approach to the inevitable realization of the immaculate conception ... or of papal infallibility, whichever came first ... the right-handed chicken or the left-handed egg ... it is writ large somewheres ...
On the other hand, what if the Logos were actually merely an Indication, palmed off on us, so to speak, so as to keep us at arm's length from the Ineffable, the Immaterial and the Unmentionable?
The IIU, known to the uninitiated as the UII and spoken of in the presence of women - even in their suspected earshot - as the IUI, the triune vocable revealing that on each hand God had two thumbs and three fingers in perfect symmetry.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Palin's comedic Exit
Exit Glacier, really not of much interest - no moose hunting allowed and so few moose on the glacier.
So someone has allowed an unverifiable report to be leaked into the mainstream press that Exit Glacier is making an exit. Is that really supposed to be funny? can they not find comedy writers?
Here's the facts. Alaskan tourism is in no way dependent on Exit Glacier. Many old web pages continue to report that it is a day hike and tourists who take cruise ships from Seattle did not come all this way to be told to hike in their deck shoes! FACT: you can drive right up to the "glacier" and we even have antique cars for rent, rare luxury cars, cars with real engines!
Fact: its just some ice. A big chunk, yes, but just a chunka ice. Forget all this hoopla about "climate change" - climate is always changing that why we have CNN for the changing weather and FOX News for the facts.
Kenai is hard to spell and how many el's are there in Seward anyway? As for that Harding Icefield its actually an Alaskan Ice Ranch, a kinda plantation.
Advert: Available now! Genuine Alaska ice water! Buy your chunk of the Exit Water Resource today! Don't buy into that hoax of water on the poles of the moon - here you don't even have to take a cruiseship to the north pole in search of ice! It's right here! But act now, supplies are limited by demand!
Advert: CLIMATE-GATE! Exit from Seward and you will be at the TAILGATING party of the decade! Place your bets now on whose RV will be at the ice edge at daybreak the very next morning! (No worries foks, park rangers move the portable signs "Glacier ended here this morning" at daybreak and you can rest until the Ambien and beer wears off.) Portable McDonalds and Burger King are park favorites! The biggest parking lot in a state park! Exit Glacier! Note to campers: Septic tank disposal areas are available most anywhere right on site.
So someone has allowed an unverifiable report to be leaked into the mainstream press that Exit Glacier is making an exit. Is that really supposed to be funny? can they not find comedy writers?
Here's the facts. Alaskan tourism is in no way dependent on Exit Glacier. Many old web pages continue to report that it is a day hike and tourists who take cruise ships from Seattle did not come all this way to be told to hike in their deck shoes! FACT: you can drive right up to the "glacier" and we even have antique cars for rent, rare luxury cars, cars with real engines!
Fact: its just some ice. A big chunk, yes, but just a chunka ice. Forget all this hoopla about "climate change" - climate is always changing that why we have CNN for the changing weather and FOX News for the facts.
Kenai is hard to spell and how many el's are there in Seward anyway? As for that Harding Icefield its actually an Alaskan Ice Ranch, a kinda plantation.
Advert: Available now! Genuine Alaska ice water! Buy your chunk of the Exit Water Resource today! Don't buy into that hoax of water on the poles of the moon - here you don't even have to take a cruiseship to the north pole in search of ice! It's right here! But act now, supplies are limited by demand!
Advert: CLIMATE-GATE! Exit from Seward and you will be at the TAILGATING party of the decade! Place your bets now on whose RV will be at the ice edge at daybreak the very next morning! (No worries foks, park rangers move the portable signs "Glacier ended here this morning" at daybreak and you can rest until the Ambien and beer wears off.) Portable McDonalds and Burger King are park favorites! The biggest parking lot in a state park! Exit Glacier! Note to campers: Septic tank disposal areas are available most anywhere right on site.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Principles, Privacy and Palin: the interview and the family.
"After an election - well, who really remembers who was Jimmy Carter's running-mate when he lost to Reagan?
You have to think about your family. Of course, you could go on being the public's servant, say, Governor of some state that's never in the news - or you could just look out for your family.
There's the principle, not mention to the interest right now. Suppose you could have a ghost writer, for example, and not have to worry about too many facts - well, you could have a book. A best-seller even - if you had a really good ghost-writer with, you know, connections. So there's all these options ...
Suppose someone offered you - asked you - to be on the Presidential ticket, well, you'd have to think of your family. Sure, it only pays a hundred or so a year, but really good long-term benefits. And a chance for the kids to decide if they want careers in acting or being in ad's and what not.
And then there's your looks - every year those digital cameras the Japs are making - they just pick up more and more details ever year. It's like being spied on, once those papperhatsi get going with those new digital cameras that've got internet built right into 'em - no one will even want to go to Hawaii any more - it's just a big fishbowl!
Mayor of Fairbanks would be all right - what with the Japs catching all the fish now - probably using underwater digital cameras in their sneaky robot fishin' nets - what else is Todd gonna do? Well yes, whaling, that would be alright ... they just eat all the fish anyways.
Does that Backman woman hunt? I dont' know ... do they really have moose there in Minnesota?
Now a seat in the Senate, that's for at least four years, right? And it sounds better on the campaign trail ... Senator Palin - what about Arnold, he's a Senator isn't he? Isn't he retiring?
And then there's acting - Arnold had lots of that before - it's a bit like modeling, right? Or standing along the sidelines at the big game, waiting for that little red light on the camera to turn all red. It's just always so exciting! And just once if they could use that snappy thing - you know, white and black box thing -"Take One - Palin for President".
I don't know about "Palin 'n Palin" - maybe just "Sarah 'n Todd" - like on a wedding invitation, only with pictures of the kids. Most people can't even spell "Backman" I don't know what that Limbow is thinkin' ..
If I would've known then, well I could've ...
Hey! Look here now! Stop that fussin' and complainin' right now! I told you yesterday - and I'm gonna tell you just this one more time - three more weeks on this bus and then you all get the two days to fly to Juneau and back! And it's all paid for - and you just don't know when to be grateful. And don't let me be hearing any lip!
So, what was I saying - do you have one of those little cassette players there - can we start that interview now? I have your questions right here .. it's just photocopies you know, so I just fold it all up like that for my purse - but you can just smooth it all out there on your knee there - now Todd thought we could start with this one in the big letters at the top ... do you ever interview any movie stars? Our pastor thinks I could be making at least one movie before the election ... it only takes a few weeks - and you don't have to be memorizing your lines anymore with the prompters they have now ... we didn't have those when I was in sports journalism and was being a sports analyst .. you had to remember what to ask the players and I didn't even have an assistant to tell me their names, you know, just to whisper it in my ear ... So, let's get started now alright? Todd says I just look great in red, don't you think so? You know they don't let their women wear red in Iran - makes them think like, you know, they might be having the curse - so you can wear red at home but not when you sit with your husband in those Muslin churches. So now energy. Oh, how silly - it's first for you to ask the questions. Alright, I'm ready now ..."
You have to think about your family. Of course, you could go on being the public's servant, say, Governor of some state that's never in the news - or you could just look out for your family.
There's the principle, not mention to the interest right now. Suppose you could have a ghost writer, for example, and not have to worry about too many facts - well, you could have a book. A best-seller even - if you had a really good ghost-writer with, you know, connections. So there's all these options ...
Suppose someone offered you - asked you - to be on the Presidential ticket, well, you'd have to think of your family. Sure, it only pays a hundred or so a year, but really good long-term benefits. And a chance for the kids to decide if they want careers in acting or being in ad's and what not.
And then there's your looks - every year those digital cameras the Japs are making - they just pick up more and more details ever year. It's like being spied on, once those papperhatsi get going with those new digital cameras that've got internet built right into 'em - no one will even want to go to Hawaii any more - it's just a big fishbowl!
Mayor of Fairbanks would be all right - what with the Japs catching all the fish now - probably using underwater digital cameras in their sneaky robot fishin' nets - what else is Todd gonna do? Well yes, whaling, that would be alright ... they just eat all the fish anyways.
Does that Backman woman hunt? I dont' know ... do they really have moose there in Minnesota?
Now a seat in the Senate, that's for at least four years, right? And it sounds better on the campaign trail ... Senator Palin - what about Arnold, he's a Senator isn't he? Isn't he retiring?
And then there's acting - Arnold had lots of that before - it's a bit like modeling, right? Or standing along the sidelines at the big game, waiting for that little red light on the camera to turn all red. It's just always so exciting! And just once if they could use that snappy thing - you know, white and black box thing -"Take One - Palin for President".
I don't know about "Palin 'n Palin" - maybe just "Sarah 'n Todd" - like on a wedding invitation, only with pictures of the kids. Most people can't even spell "Backman" I don't know what that Limbow is thinkin' ..
If I would've known then, well I could've ...
Hey! Look here now! Stop that fussin' and complainin' right now! I told you yesterday - and I'm gonna tell you just this one more time - three more weeks on this bus and then you all get the two days to fly to Juneau and back! And it's all paid for - and you just don't know when to be grateful. And don't let me be hearing any lip!
So, what was I saying - do you have one of those little cassette players there - can we start that interview now? I have your questions right here .. it's just photocopies you know, so I just fold it all up like that for my purse - but you can just smooth it all out there on your knee there - now Todd thought we could start with this one in the big letters at the top ... do you ever interview any movie stars? Our pastor thinks I could be making at least one movie before the election ... it only takes a few weeks - and you don't have to be memorizing your lines anymore with the prompters they have now ... we didn't have those when I was in sports journalism and was being a sports analyst .. you had to remember what to ask the players and I didn't even have an assistant to tell me their names, you know, just to whisper it in my ear ... So, let's get started now alright? Todd says I just look great in red, don't you think so? You know they don't let their women wear red in Iran - makes them think like, you know, they might be having the curse - so you can wear red at home but not when you sit with your husband in those Muslin churches. So now energy. Oh, how silly - it's first for you to ask the questions. Alright, I'm ready now ..."
Palin and Population: the next wave
Rick Sanchez will never fall for it again. Anyone who has been in a mall or resort wave machine knows how it works! Displace 9 meters of water and what will you get?
Same thing happened with the ticking population bomb? Remember that hoax? And then there was "acid rain"! That one was washed away quick enough!
And to think that these alarmists were trying to have Seattle budget for tsunami response readiness!
It is such a challenge to do the news before it happens ... it's really more of an art than a science. But you end up asking some expert - but only because some director thinks you can't take a moment to check in The Farmer's Almanac right there on the air - we could you know - just ask the viewers to recite a Psalm while we look up the facts ...
Let's see, Nigeria. Big place. Not really over-populated. Out here we just bush down some bush with an ole D7 CAT and voiley! a suburb! A country suburb, really.
Mexico City. Lack of suburban planning, really, if you think about it ...
And those sleepy ole volcanos - let me tell you - in Juneau we just don't panic the way they do up there in Anchorage. A bunch of nervous nellies ...
Oh, we may have a 2012 team: Palin - Bachmann. Forget Marsha Blackburn. She has the wrong wave ...
Same thing happened with the ticking population bomb? Remember that hoax? And then there was "acid rain"! That one was washed away quick enough!
And to think that these alarmists were trying to have Seattle budget for tsunami response readiness!
It is such a challenge to do the news before it happens ... it's really more of an art than a science. But you end up asking some expert - but only because some director thinks you can't take a moment to check in The Farmer's Almanac right there on the air - we could you know - just ask the viewers to recite a Psalm while we look up the facts ...
Let's see, Nigeria. Big place. Not really over-populated. Out here we just bush down some bush with an ole D7 CAT and voiley! a suburb! A country suburb, really.
Mexico City. Lack of suburban planning, really, if you think about it ...
And those sleepy ole volcanos - let me tell you - in Juneau we just don't panic the way they do up there in Anchorage. A bunch of nervous nellies ...
Oh, we may have a 2012 team: Palin - Bachmann. Forget Marsha Blackburn. She has the wrong wave ...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Palin and revised extinction facts
Over at the WCS they seem finally to have recognized that climate change in Alaska is not caused by deforestation and combustion of fossil fuels.
Crude, that stinking black goop, is not what you found in the bottom of that permafrost bog ... hell, no, crude is life itself, the very essence of life. Distilled, it wafts to the very Nose, into the very Nostrils of God: He Smells it, and He Says that it is good! Bunker C! Do those fools think the 'C' stands for 'CONSERVATION' ! We're talking WILD Oil ! OIL on the wing! An ocean awash in oil!
Back to the facts: the passenger pigeons were going extinct even before Columbus arrived. What we failed to measure was the natural acceleration of this natural extinction process. You see, they had been stowaways atop Noah's Ark and were not supposed to be here anyway.
The Beothuk Indians actually did not go extinct, but have been hunting buffalo on Catalina Island for years.
All this wildlife "conservation" is hype and exaggeration and fear-mongering just so that Washington can get assault rifles out of the hands of endangered moose hunters.
It's a fact.
Just watch. They announce that this or that is going extinct, collect a lot of money, interfere with farmers pushing down bush and whadda ya know, the damn critters don't go extinct at all! In fact, time and again these critters are removed from the Most Endangered Species list when exposed for the bad science that is behind all these tricks with statistics and estimates - who ever shot an "estimated" moose anyhow?
Fossil fuels are the very life blood of Alaskan tourism whether it be the oil for the cruise ship or the diesel for the train to Fairbanks. Aviation fuel is what keeps Alaskans afloat! Wherever our search for oil may take us, we will show no fear, no hesitation and no liberal commie-science will stand in the way of Alaskan Progress!
We built the Alaskan Highway! We didn't need no one in Washington for that! We bought Alaska from Russia! We didn't need Washington for that! Get Washington out of Alaska!
Fact: States with a proven higher proportion of True Americans should have a higher number of House Representatives and an extra Senator or two or three. States which have consistently voted Democrat should be docked a Senator until they mend their ways! No Democrat should be allowed to serve after age 65. No Democrat should be allowed to serve more than 2 consecutive terms. These simple amendments will be the core of the New American Revolution! The Conservative Revolt!
Fact: No one who does not own Private Property should vote. It's a proven fact that Members of the NRA are owners of Private Property. Studies have shown that by granting a mere 2 votes to each registered NRA member or allowing the NRA to administer Voter Registration instead of that damn Washington ACORN this country would have a True American President and a True American Congress.
ONE VOTE for America and ONE VOTE for God! It's the ole double-barrell, it's the over-n-under that will restore America to her True Patriots!
Fact: While it is true that some sexual deviants are members of the NRA it has NEVER been proven that they actually voted Republican. Log cabins are being built near Prudhoe Bay to house those who say they were Republican in order to ensure their recovery.
Fact: College psychiatrists report that liberals - who inevitably become depressed and then unable to hold their liquor - admit during the DT's that they wish they had been born Republican. But we are not all destined to be Republican. There must be a few damn fools to keep the rest of us On Our Toes!
FACT: Cormorants are the only birds other than Black Petrols known to bathe each morning in local oil slicks.
Crude, that stinking black goop, is not what you found in the bottom of that permafrost bog ... hell, no, crude is life itself, the very essence of life. Distilled, it wafts to the very Nose, into the very Nostrils of God: He Smells it, and He Says that it is good! Bunker C! Do those fools think the 'C' stands for 'CONSERVATION' ! We're talking WILD Oil ! OIL on the wing! An ocean awash in oil!
Back to the facts: the passenger pigeons were going extinct even before Columbus arrived. What we failed to measure was the natural acceleration of this natural extinction process. You see, they had been stowaways atop Noah's Ark and were not supposed to be here anyway.
The Beothuk Indians actually did not go extinct, but have been hunting buffalo on Catalina Island for years.
All this wildlife "conservation" is hype and exaggeration and fear-mongering just so that Washington can get assault rifles out of the hands of endangered moose hunters.
It's a fact.
Just watch. They announce that this or that is going extinct, collect a lot of money, interfere with farmers pushing down bush and whadda ya know, the damn critters don't go extinct at all! In fact, time and again these critters are removed from the Most Endangered Species list when exposed for the bad science that is behind all these tricks with statistics and estimates - who ever shot an "estimated" moose anyhow?
Fossil fuels are the very life blood of Alaskan tourism whether it be the oil for the cruise ship or the diesel for the train to Fairbanks. Aviation fuel is what keeps Alaskans afloat! Wherever our search for oil may take us, we will show no fear, no hesitation and no liberal commie-science will stand in the way of Alaskan Progress!
We built the Alaskan Highway! We didn't need no one in Washington for that! We bought Alaska from Russia! We didn't need Washington for that! Get Washington out of Alaska!
Fact: States with a proven higher proportion of True Americans should have a higher number of House Representatives and an extra Senator or two or three. States which have consistently voted Democrat should be docked a Senator until they mend their ways! No Democrat should be allowed to serve after age 65. No Democrat should be allowed to serve more than 2 consecutive terms. These simple amendments will be the core of the New American Revolution! The Conservative Revolt!
Fact: No one who does not own Private Property should vote. It's a proven fact that Members of the NRA are owners of Private Property. Studies have shown that by granting a mere 2 votes to each registered NRA member or allowing the NRA to administer Voter Registration instead of that damn Washington ACORN this country would have a True American President and a True American Congress.
ONE VOTE for America and ONE VOTE for God! It's the ole double-barrell, it's the over-n-under that will restore America to her True Patriots!
Fact: While it is true that some sexual deviants are members of the NRA it has NEVER been proven that they actually voted Republican. Log cabins are being built near Prudhoe Bay to house those who say they were Republican in order to ensure their recovery.
Fact: College psychiatrists report that liberals - who inevitably become depressed and then unable to hold their liquor - admit during the DT's that they wish they had been born Republican. But we are not all destined to be Republican. There must be a few damn fools to keep the rest of us On Our Toes!
FACT: Cormorants are the only birds other than Black Petrols known to bathe each morning in local oil slicks.
Palin dubbed "mega-star"
Asteroids bear the names of many great women, but know that we started the rumor that the great mega-star of Canis Majoris, the red hypergiant VY Canis Maj will be renamed: mega-star, designation GOP.
We soon expect to see the rumor at FOX News, Fair & Balanced, as a correction to the February 26, 2010 eructation by Gene J. Koprowski in which readers were directed to an old Gore campaign site as the algore.com site. Clever, Gene!
To illustrate the sheer size of the mega-star, Todd and the PAC bus are expected this summer at the Columbia Icefields where they will be able to demonstrate that the rate of shrinking of that great glacier is a hoax! The rate has never accelerated! It just got faster, that's all! And that's because the measuring tapes were allowed to lie out there on the dry ground in the sun instead of lying where they belong, on the ice.
Man does not change the climate. The climate changes man. Deforestation is a natural process that began in New York State and continued through Ohio, finally ending in Minnesota when it had run its natural course.
Fact: the measurement of changed forestation in Brazil and anywhere else in the world has been contaminated because the cameras used by these "scientists" were on devices that were used in daylight! Warmed by the sun!
Fact: the huge Douglas Fir stumps visible through a chain-link fence on Crown Land in Surrey, BC, is part of a Green Peace hoax! Those stumps were there before the Hastings mill was built! Before the Corps of Engineers arrived! It had been a Dutch settlement (as confirmed by near-by windmills.)
FACT: Of the 3000 pages and 10,000 items in the report now discredited by one typo and two errors, there is just too much stuff to read to be able to confirm that human activities affect the weather! The weather affects human activities! Been to a barbecue in Seattle lately, Al ?!?
Fact: Natural climate change does not affect the risk of earthquake. Exaggerations of the risk of devastation in Seattle were all from climate gate denialists.
Fact: Those who object to expanding cities built near volcanos or on mere fault lines live in denial of the Latter Days being upon us! Of course there will be devastation! Read Revelations! Ever since the science behind plate tectonics was allowed into public schools and public libraries but saucer abductions by Lucifer's henchmen forced into private vanity press publishing, Christian History has been distorted. Get the science outa geology! Call a rock a rock!
Fact: Dire warnings about mud liquifaction in a major quake in Delta, B.C., were spread by alarmists using Japanese data! The Japs were trying to get back land in Delta! Trying to discourage more Evangelicals and Pentecostals from living south of the slopes that will one day be ours: North Vancouver, West Vancouver, last bastion of high-IQ atheists! When the coast is clear, the Coast will be ours!
Fact: No born-again Christian has ever re-offended as a pedophile in a Community Church without first having adopted Male Sexual Exclusivity: MSE! Repent!
Advert: Buy your clear-cut logging permit for the so-called water-shed north of Vancouver! Market genuine Canadian all-wood bobsleds and toboggans! Don't waste money on more acres on the Moon for helium mining that the EPA will try to shut down! Deforestation: so we can see from here to Eternity!
Fact: Mud, per cubic gallon, holds more centimeters of water than the floor of the tree-huggers "forest". Tree plantations must be private property! Stop the Canadian Government from using socialist tree planting!
Advert: Recycle carbon! Haul old growth Redwoods and Douglas Fir to Texas on your custom 18-wheeler log-hauler and tandem trailer. Come see our sample log mansions in Christian retirement communities! Enjoy the Rapture in the comfort of a large group! Texas. where old wood meets new oil!
BAN SIGNS warning that the use of Retarder Brakes in papist Urban areas is illegal! Retarder Brakes are private property! Most urban areas SHOULD BE private property! See FOX News, Fair & Balanced, for more details on this and other threats to Private Property in your town! Farmers! The attack on corn syrup is only the thin edge of the Eminent Domain wedge! Don't be pried of your private land!
Wake up the children of Democrats in Minnesota! Haul logs through Eden Prairie! Retarder Brakes, the clarion call to revolution! Paul Revere wooda had 'em!
Question: Will Paul Bunyan be among the resurrected and will he be looking for his Babe? This and more answers on Bible literature appear regularly in the Revised Science and Revised History News at FOX: sly as a fox! But Fair and Balanced!
Expose fake Science Journalism! Ban Scientific American from public libraries! It is not even AMERICAN! We have proof that over the years, the "Facts" reported by this yellow rag have changed as often as the "Theory" behind those "Facts". No articles supporting the Genesis account of the work of the Great Designer have ever been published in this mouthpiece for ATHEISM! Support Fair and Balanced Science! Read your Science News at SciTech on the easy menu at FOXNEWS.com !
We soon expect to see the rumor at FOX News, Fair & Balanced, as a correction to the February 26, 2010 eructation by Gene J. Koprowski in which readers were directed to an old Gore campaign site as the algore.com site. Clever, Gene!
To illustrate the sheer size of the mega-star, Todd and the PAC bus are expected this summer at the Columbia Icefields where they will be able to demonstrate that the rate of shrinking of that great glacier is a hoax! The rate has never accelerated! It just got faster, that's all! And that's because the measuring tapes were allowed to lie out there on the dry ground in the sun instead of lying where they belong, on the ice.
Man does not change the climate. The climate changes man. Deforestation is a natural process that began in New York State and continued through Ohio, finally ending in Minnesota when it had run its natural course.
Fact: the measurement of changed forestation in Brazil and anywhere else in the world has been contaminated because the cameras used by these "scientists" were on devices that were used in daylight! Warmed by the sun!
Fact: the huge Douglas Fir stumps visible through a chain-link fence on Crown Land in Surrey, BC, is part of a Green Peace hoax! Those stumps were there before the Hastings mill was built! Before the Corps of Engineers arrived! It had been a Dutch settlement (as confirmed by near-by windmills.)
FACT: Of the 3000 pages and 10,000 items in the report now discredited by one typo and two errors, there is just too much stuff to read to be able to confirm that human activities affect the weather! The weather affects human activities! Been to a barbecue in Seattle lately, Al ?!?
Fact: Natural climate change does not affect the risk of earthquake. Exaggerations of the risk of devastation in Seattle were all from climate gate denialists.
Fact: Those who object to expanding cities built near volcanos or on mere fault lines live in denial of the Latter Days being upon us! Of course there will be devastation! Read Revelations! Ever since the science behind plate tectonics was allowed into public schools and public libraries but saucer abductions by Lucifer's henchmen forced into private vanity press publishing, Christian History has been distorted. Get the science outa geology! Call a rock a rock!
Fact: Dire warnings about mud liquifaction in a major quake in Delta, B.C., were spread by alarmists using Japanese data! The Japs were trying to get back land in Delta! Trying to discourage more Evangelicals and Pentecostals from living south of the slopes that will one day be ours: North Vancouver, West Vancouver, last bastion of high-IQ atheists! When the coast is clear, the Coast will be ours!
Fact: No born-again Christian has ever re-offended as a pedophile in a Community Church without first having adopted Male Sexual Exclusivity: MSE! Repent!
Advert: Buy your clear-cut logging permit for the so-called water-shed north of Vancouver! Market genuine Canadian all-wood bobsleds and toboggans! Don't waste money on more acres on the Moon for helium mining that the EPA will try to shut down! Deforestation: so we can see from here to Eternity!
Fact: Mud, per cubic gallon, holds more centimeters of water than the floor of the tree-huggers "forest". Tree plantations must be private property! Stop the Canadian Government from using socialist tree planting!
Advert: Recycle carbon! Haul old growth Redwoods and Douglas Fir to Texas on your custom 18-wheeler log-hauler and tandem trailer. Come see our sample log mansions in Christian retirement communities! Enjoy the Rapture in the comfort of a large group! Texas. where old wood meets new oil!
BAN SIGNS warning that the use of Retarder Brakes in papist Urban areas is illegal! Retarder Brakes are private property! Most urban areas SHOULD BE private property! See FOX News, Fair & Balanced, for more details on this and other threats to Private Property in your town! Farmers! The attack on corn syrup is only the thin edge of the Eminent Domain wedge! Don't be pried of your private land!
Wake up the children of Democrats in Minnesota! Haul logs through Eden Prairie! Retarder Brakes, the clarion call to revolution! Paul Revere wooda had 'em!
Question: Will Paul Bunyan be among the resurrected and will he be looking for his Babe? This and more answers on Bible literature appear regularly in the Revised Science and Revised History News at FOX: sly as a fox! But Fair and Balanced!
Expose fake Science Journalism! Ban Scientific American from public libraries! It is not even AMERICAN! We have proof that over the years, the "Facts" reported by this yellow rag have changed as often as the "Theory" behind those "Facts". No articles supporting the Genesis account of the work of the Great Designer have ever been published in this mouthpiece for ATHEISM! Support Fair and Balanced Science! Read your Science News at SciTech on the easy menu at FOXNEWS.com !
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Palin and Social Credit
It has been suggested that our interpretation of Gov'nor Palin's exhortation to Canadians to "Keep the Faith!" was not at all on the target. We missed it by a moose!
What she meant was to renew our faith in Social Credit!
Across the Canadian Bible Belt, in the days before Texas oil was found in Alberta, why back then we had Baptist preachers and Social Credit. "Bible" Bill Eberhardt, Earnest Manning. Wack-E. Bennett and The Boy Bennett. We even had Réal "Peanut" Créditistes in what you would call your French Canada (we owe Google Translate credit for its help in this area social networking.)
Now what was Social Credit? Well I'm glad you asked. It was not "socialist" and it was not about wild partying because it auntie-dates your credit card frauds. No, it was the real thing.
Let me explain. Suppose you hired yourself a steno but you told her she was a "research assistant" who just happened to half-to-know Pitman shorthand. Now she gets to tell people that she is a research assistant and someone who is in the habit of stopping in your office for more than just a smoke and a coffee - why they hire her away from you as a research assistant but really she's their hootchie-kootchie girl if you get my drift. Now let's just stay with the first transaction where our debit was also our credit. We call that our double entry. What your social credit tells you is that she did not get something from nothing. She worked for you as a steno taking notes and fetching coffee and all the salesman liked her. So what she had was an investment, you might say, a "credit". Now when she goes to her new social status as a research assistant, now she draws on that credit. But you see, no money has to change hands here apart from her minimum wage. And even if she is still making minimum wag - by which I mean girl's minimum wage and not the working man's minimum wage, why she has carried that social credit over to her new position.
I hope that has made that clear. Now up there in Canada those socialists from the CCF renamed themselves the NDP and some carpet-baggers from down East they call themselves Liberals so we had no choice but to call our Social Credit most anything else. Like "progressive". So we had our Progressive Conservatives. Now don't you get all confused because a Liberal in your Province of the French Canada, your La Quebéc, is your died-in-the-wool anti-federal Conservative when we have to have a Federal election every 5 or 6 years when the Parliament is not per-rogued and their members out living on their per-diem.
What all this goes to show is that your economic theories they are all fine and good at your community college and what not but in business, heck no. It's who you know and are you a Mason. Now that goes for your politics too, where all your political theory is fine at some United Church policy meeting in the Maritimes but when it comes to talking to real Baptists and Evangelicals out in the West we understand political economy, by which we mean your Social Credit.
None of this explanation will do you much good out there in New Foundland where they wanted to have some British George's Bank for their cod fish stock. Well we had one king George and then another and even had us a MacKenzie King and what I can tell you is this: your New Foundlander is basically your lazy fisherman who only wants to fish for his cod in the spring and bank on his cod the rest of the year. Well without the Social Credit that meant but the one thing, your Pogie.
Now up there in Alaska they don't have the Pogie but then they don't have much fishing on account of their not hunting their fish-killing fish-a-gobbling seal, whales and mollhusks. So I see that up there we have prime Social Credit country and if they one day strike oil, well God Bless 'Em.
Glossary: Pogie, i.e., Socialist Unemployment Insurance and Computer Retraining
Idiom: "Going on the Pogie" as in "done fishing for the summer by June".
Jargon: "retrained" i.e., someone applying for their next training course to extend their Pogie.
Politics: "Socred" - died-in-the-wool conservative. "So-Cred" - your "big C" Socred who voted Diefenbaker in the big Federal election.
What she meant was to renew our faith in Social Credit!
Across the Canadian Bible Belt, in the days before Texas oil was found in Alberta, why back then we had Baptist preachers and Social Credit. "Bible" Bill Eberhardt, Earnest Manning. Wack-E. Bennett and The Boy Bennett. We even had Réal "Peanut" Créditistes in what you would call your French Canada (we owe Google Translate credit for its help in this area social networking.)
Now what was Social Credit? Well I'm glad you asked. It was not "socialist" and it was not about wild partying because it auntie-dates your credit card frauds. No, it was the real thing.
Let me explain. Suppose you hired yourself a steno but you told her she was a "research assistant" who just happened to half-to-know Pitman shorthand. Now she gets to tell people that she is a research assistant and someone who is in the habit of stopping in your office for more than just a smoke and a coffee - why they hire her away from you as a research assistant but really she's their hootchie-kootchie girl if you get my drift. Now let's just stay with the first transaction where our debit was also our credit. We call that our double entry. What your social credit tells you is that she did not get something from nothing. She worked for you as a steno taking notes and fetching coffee and all the salesman liked her. So what she had was an investment, you might say, a "credit". Now when she goes to her new social status as a research assistant, now she draws on that credit. But you see, no money has to change hands here apart from her minimum wage. And even if she is still making minimum wag - by which I mean girl's minimum wage and not the working man's minimum wage, why she has carried that social credit over to her new position.
I hope that has made that clear. Now up there in Canada those socialists from the CCF renamed themselves the NDP and some carpet-baggers from down East they call themselves Liberals so we had no choice but to call our Social Credit most anything else. Like "progressive". So we had our Progressive Conservatives. Now don't you get all confused because a Liberal in your Province of the French Canada, your La Quebéc, is your died-in-the-wool anti-federal Conservative when we have to have a Federal election every 5 or 6 years when the Parliament is not per-rogued and their members out living on their per-diem.
What all this goes to show is that your economic theories they are all fine and good at your community college and what not but in business, heck no. It's who you know and are you a Mason. Now that goes for your politics too, where all your political theory is fine at some United Church policy meeting in the Maritimes but when it comes to talking to real Baptists and Evangelicals out in the West we understand political economy, by which we mean your Social Credit.
None of this explanation will do you much good out there in New Foundland where they wanted to have some British George's Bank for their cod fish stock. Well we had one king George and then another and even had us a MacKenzie King and what I can tell you is this: your New Foundlander is basically your lazy fisherman who only wants to fish for his cod in the spring and bank on his cod the rest of the year. Well without the Social Credit that meant but the one thing, your Pogie.
Now up there in Alaska they don't have the Pogie but then they don't have much fishing on account of their not hunting their fish-killing fish-a-gobbling seal, whales and mollhusks. So I see that up there we have prime Social Credit country and if they one day strike oil, well God Bless 'Em.
Glossary: Pogie, i.e., Socialist Unemployment Insurance and Computer Retraining
Idiom: "Going on the Pogie" as in "done fishing for the summer by June".
Jargon: "retrained" i.e., someone applying for their next training course to extend their Pogie.
Politics: "Socred" - died-in-the-wool conservative. "So-Cred" - your "big C" Socred who voted Diefenbaker in the big Federal election.
Palin and the CNN LIVE open mike
Today, Feb 25, (2012 - 2) when that supposed "President" (that's still the terrorists buddy, O, B. Hussein) rose to let members of the House vote, suspending the SETUP "dialogue" with some fake-Conservative Republicans led by TURN-COAT McCain, the internets CNN LIVE left the mike open for a few minutes as their Journalist followed that pseudo-Prez across to what should already be the Palin White House.
Imagine what Alaskans on the internets coulda herd!
True, it was only when the CNN Journalist managed to catch the attention of that non-American Pr*s*d*nt that we heard someone near the West Wing sidewalk entrance by the Press Scrum across from Lafayette Park saying "F*cking" this or that - but our kids MIGHT have heard someone say how if Senator Palin of Hawaii had been invited, she sure culda shut down that "guy" with all his scoffin' at the "talkin' points" of Tea-Party-Approved-for re-election Rep's who were providing the American People CONSISTENT common sense solutions that the American people demand!
An open mike is part of the open society and under the prophesied Palin Interregnum, FOX News will be operating open mikes most everywhere as radio merges with web-cams [AM mashes-up with FM] so that we can monitor any misleading reports before they are twisted by the formerly Mainstream Media just to confirm the revocation of their unmerited broadcast license "entitlement" under the new NRA-administered FCC.
PROTECT MEDICARE! GET "WASHINGTON" OUTA THE HEALTH INSURENCE BIZINESS!
The NRA ... helping Helliburston administer towns across America in the new Tea Party Network (Inc.)
Imagine what Alaskans on the internets coulda herd!
True, it was only when the CNN Journalist managed to catch the attention of that non-American Pr*s*d*nt that we heard someone near the West Wing sidewalk entrance by the Press Scrum across from Lafayette Park saying "F*cking" this or that - but our kids MIGHT have heard someone say how if Senator Palin of Hawaii had been invited, she sure culda shut down that "guy" with all his scoffin' at the "talkin' points" of Tea-Party-Approved-for re-election Rep's who were providing the American People CONSISTENT common sense solutions that the American people demand!
An open mike is part of the open society and under the prophesied Palin Interregnum, FOX News will be operating open mikes most everywhere as radio merges with web-cams [AM mashes-up with FM] so that we can monitor any misleading reports before they are twisted by the formerly Mainstream Media just to confirm the revocation of their unmerited broadcast license "entitlement" under the new NRA-administered FCC.
PROTECT MEDICARE! GET "WASHINGTON" OUTA THE HEALTH INSURENCE BIZINESS!
The NRA ... helping Helliburston administer towns across America in the new Tea Party Network (Inc.)
Palin and Prophecy
We wish to apologize for having left some of our followers with the impression that the Gov'nor was unversed in Pentecostal theology (Alaskan).
It has been brought to our attention that in the Last Days we will see an historical correction. With the Bodily Resurrection of all sinners prior to their Physical Descent into Everlasting Damnation, those Pentecostals raptured from Nagasaki and Hiroshima will be doing a quick head count BECAUSE the mainstream Japanese press have exaggerated for years the numbers vaporized in two urban tests of tactical non-HE explosive devices, neither model of which went into full-scale production.
Imagine the chagrin of those lil' beggars who resisted the missionary message of our missions in Nagi and Hiro only to be Physically Resurrected and then moments later, Kah-phlouey! - the big non-water slide into Hell-Fire !
One of the finer theological points, naturally, is whether the designer labels of those who experienced mere atomic vaporization will be restored to the unburnt clothing that they will leave behind upon Rapture. In the few moments that the Resurrected Sinners are wetting their tattered undies, imagine their chagrin in seeing the odd label turned out on this sweater and that jumpsuit, knowing that they, too, could have known Prosperity Gospel and Redeeming Grace! Talk about your being predestined for a turn-around! El Tropos!
PS
Pentecostal physicists tell us that although physically there are not enough electrons in the Universe to store the details about the identities of those who will be Physically Resurrected only to be dry-flushed to HELL, there is in fact a one, true and mighty God who can see in the dark (remember, before the ole "Let there be light!", right?) and that He has, in fact, inscribed all the necessary details on scrolls of ... Dark Matter! The new "string" theory of dark matter is, in fact, the curved "manifolds" or "brains" of "Scroll Theory"!
It has been brought to our attention that in the Last Days we will see an historical correction. With the Bodily Resurrection of all sinners prior to their Physical Descent into Everlasting Damnation, those Pentecostals raptured from Nagasaki and Hiroshima will be doing a quick head count BECAUSE the mainstream Japanese press have exaggerated for years the numbers vaporized in two urban tests of tactical non-HE explosive devices, neither model of which went into full-scale production.
Imagine the chagrin of those lil' beggars who resisted the missionary message of our missions in Nagi and Hiro only to be Physically Resurrected and then moments later, Kah-phlouey! - the big non-water slide into Hell-Fire !
One of the finer theological points, naturally, is whether the designer labels of those who experienced mere atomic vaporization will be restored to the unburnt clothing that they will leave behind upon Rapture. In the few moments that the Resurrected Sinners are wetting their tattered undies, imagine their chagrin in seeing the odd label turned out on this sweater and that jumpsuit, knowing that they, too, could have known Prosperity Gospel and Redeeming Grace! Talk about your being predestined for a turn-around! El Tropos!
PS
Pentecostal physicists tell us that although physically there are not enough electrons in the Universe to store the details about the identities of those who will be Physically Resurrected only to be dry-flushed to HELL, there is in fact a one, true and mighty God who can see in the dark (remember, before the ole "Let there be light!", right?) and that He has, in fact, inscribed all the necessary details on scrolls of ... Dark Matter! The new "string" theory of dark matter is, in fact, the curved "manifolds" or "brains" of "Scroll Theory"!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
New French Training for the State Department not needed for Palin Presidency
Reports that new French training was available for State Department employees required to commute from London to Paris and from Paris to London via sealed-trained transporting gold for war reparations have been the result of a misprint.
The issue was clarified by the BCC as being a mere typo, a mere leaden mistep. The widely circulated memo was intended to single out Rumainians (commonly referred to as Roman Gypsies).
Romanian is a Hungarrian dierlekt spoekn in the Transvaal and simliar to Boolgharian. They have very poor training in their narrow-gauge system (if you call that a system!) in which, for reasons of eastern metaphysics, key switches were often operated by trained babouins known as "Mastiffs" or "macaques".
A recent panic when easterners were briefly trapped overnight in the Chunnel under European regulation ambient lighting for tunnels over one mile long and rather straight (commonly misperceived as total darkness at noon but actually merely intense semi-darkness) resulted in normally travel-savante, hirsute and otherwise svelte Parisians momentarily panicking when they awoke for diner and found they could not see, feel or even remember the brand of the baggage they were travelling with/avec. Most would have called their spouse at home rather than disturb their amour-propre sleeping at their side, but Normalien service-cellulaire Supérieur was not available to the worldly, but egregiously agoraphobic, cagnes-voyageurs.
American's with iTouch and iPhone which double as flashlights were accused of deliberately blinding Europeans indiscriminately leading to the impression that they were being robbed of their culturale baggages.
Britons equipped with similar Newtonian devices were quietly absorbed with non-adult content Jungian "apps".
But, plie-baggages, all's well that disembarks unrumpled and the/le SNCF promises that news services will hear no more of these irregularities which have already once disturbed an otherwise tranquille break-repas at the Elyssé banquet hall (Swiss catering available.)
The Libyan Embassy in Monaco reports that no Swiss Nationals were CF's (i.e., removed from the train) during the brief respite from service due to the usual presence of Masad anti-terror marshals on the Trans-Occidental Trains.
The issue was clarified by the BCC as being a mere typo, a mere leaden mistep. The widely circulated memo was intended to single out Rumainians (commonly referred to as Roman Gypsies).
Romanian is a Hungarrian dierlekt spoekn in the Transvaal and simliar to Boolgharian. They have very poor training in their narrow-gauge system (if you call that a system!) in which, for reasons of eastern metaphysics, key switches were often operated by trained babouins known as "Mastiffs" or "macaques".
A recent panic when easterners were briefly trapped overnight in the Chunnel under European regulation ambient lighting for tunnels over one mile long and rather straight (commonly misperceived as total darkness at noon but actually merely intense semi-darkness) resulted in normally travel-savante, hirsute and otherwise svelte Parisians momentarily panicking when they awoke for diner and found they could not see, feel or even remember the brand of the baggage they were travelling with/avec. Most would have called their spouse at home rather than disturb their amour-propre sleeping at their side, but Normalien service-cellulaire Supérieur was not available to the worldly, but egregiously agoraphobic, cagnes-voyageurs.
American's with iTouch and iPhone which double as flashlights were accused of deliberately blinding Europeans indiscriminately leading to the impression that they were being robbed of their culturale baggages.
Britons equipped with similar Newtonian devices were quietly absorbed with non-adult content Jungian "apps".
But, plie-baggages, all's well that disembarks unrumpled and the/le SNCF promises that news services will hear no more of these irregularities which have already once disturbed an otherwise tranquille break-repas at the Elyssé banquet hall (Swiss catering available.)
The Libyan Embassy in Monaco reports that no Swiss Nationals were CF's (i.e., removed from the train) during the brief respite from service due to the usual presence of Masad anti-terror marshals on the Trans-Occidental Trains.
Spa Rumours
Rumours reaching us by mail from Canada's capital city, Toronta, would seem to indicate that last week the Metro Capital Region was seized with panic spawned by an mis-translation of a last month's interview with Sarah Palin at a Border book-signing.
httpc://wcw.Amazon.ca, the Canadian Government Crown Web Corp owned out-right by Yahoo-Twitter Audit, Tax and Accounting (2010) [YWATA] reports on its telegraphic Rooters News Bulletin (delivery by next-week mail only) - reports, we say, that telegraph services have been swamped by orders from the Far North as remote as Thunder Bay and Nipagon. Scouts' honour!
These unprecedented remote electric money-order "buys" are due to the unexpected hint that a re-elected government which "Keeps the Faith" would release the long awaited Three Dollar "Tweenie" coin!
The entire phoo-farrah was caused by the Canadian Cabinet Member for Bible Schools (PAC) demanding that Palin recite chapter-and-verse WHICH Bible she is a-Bible-believing. When Palin's theological advisor stated that her Bible was based on the revised koine, local radio stations reported that each bible contained an original trinity or "triune" COIN-eh?
Canada and America: one Nation and some territories separated only by a language.
Palin may have suggested that Canada's national colours are not colour-co-ordinated with the colours of the Alaskan flag that Todd kept from his days in that other northern government, but colour via telegraph is sequential-partial-only and not yet YCMB or RGBx.
Advert: Canadians! Digital telegraphie is coming to northern Canadian radio-televiseur! Register now at your town postal service bureau and pharmacy/service de pharmacie postale. [Available only south of the Yellowhead or south of the #1, which ever applies in your rural township. Maritime service may vary with inclement weather or pulp-forest/forêt-nationale entomologic/entomologique infestation/infestation]
Public Legal Notice: Canadian/canadiens Airports/aerodromes found to have retained mention of "hangar" or "stop" in English-language documents face action under the Law to De-franglais Western Canada/La Loi sur les Nouvelles Lois Linguisitique et Sociologique (2010-38d-HRPR). Those cited to appear before a Justice of The Peace should be prepared to recite the oath of re-allegiance in both official languages but to the original Canadian culture tune of the magistrate's choice [recent original top tunes included "Snowbird", "River of Darkness", "Danny Boy" and "Old Lang Sine".]
ADVERT: Travelling soon? Curiousity about American documentation orthographic standards? Avoid being spiked as a likely terrorist by orthographic anomalies! Get you American-language documents here at httpc://Goggle.document-revision.com Your honour is the logo on your knapsack! Tip: Never bind your running shoes together with elastic bands or Scotch tape. Violating the American semantic web can draw you into a nexus/plexus of misfortune, a regular journée fatidque/fateful journey, leaving you deboussolé and/or debousollé/
httpc://wcw.Amazon.ca, the Canadian Government Crown Web Corp owned out-right by Yahoo-Twitter Audit, Tax and Accounting (2010) [YWATA] reports on its telegraphic Rooters News Bulletin (delivery by next-week mail only) - reports, we say, that telegraph services have been swamped by orders from the Far North as remote as Thunder Bay and Nipagon. Scouts' honour!
These unprecedented remote electric money-order "buys" are due to the unexpected hint that a re-elected government which "Keeps the Faith" would release the long awaited Three Dollar "Tweenie" coin!
The entire phoo-farrah was caused by the Canadian Cabinet Member for Bible Schools (PAC) demanding that Palin recite chapter-and-verse WHICH Bible she is a-Bible-believing. When Palin's theological advisor stated that her Bible was based on the revised koine, local radio stations reported that each bible contained an original trinity or "triune" COIN-eh?
Canada and America: one Nation and some territories separated only by a language.
Palin may have suggested that Canada's national colours are not colour-co-ordinated with the colours of the Alaskan flag that Todd kept from his days in that other northern government, but colour via telegraph is sequential-partial-only and not yet YCMB or RGBx.
Advert: Canadians! Digital telegraphie is coming to northern Canadian radio-televiseur! Register now at your town postal service bureau and pharmacy/service de pharmacie postale. [Available only south of the Yellowhead or south of the #1, which ever applies in your rural township. Maritime service may vary with inclement weather or pulp-forest/forêt-nationale entomologic/entomologique infestation/infestation]
Public Legal Notice: Canadian/canadiens Airports/aerodromes found to have retained mention of "hangar" or "stop" in English-language documents face action under the Law to De-franglais Western Canada/La Loi sur les Nouvelles Lois Linguisitique et Sociologique (2010-38d-HRPR). Those cited to appear before a Justice of The Peace should be prepared to recite the oath of re-allegiance in both official languages but to the original Canadian culture tune of the magistrate's choice [recent original top tunes included "Snowbird", "River of Darkness", "Danny Boy" and "Old Lang Sine".]
ADVERT: Travelling soon? Curiousity about American documentation orthographic standards? Avoid being spiked as a likely terrorist by orthographic anomalies! Get you American-language documents here at httpc://Goggle.document-revision.com Your honour is the logo on your knapsack! Tip: Never bind your running shoes together with elastic bands or Scotch tape. Violating the American semantic web can draw you into a nexus/plexus of misfortune, a regular journée fatidque/fateful journey, leaving you deboussolé and/or debousollé/
Committee to Re-elect Glenn Beck (Inc.)
Get that filthy lucre out of your vicuna jacket pockets! Return to the gold standard!
Inspired by a new true and correct translation of the revised Koine, Dr. Beck will be introducing his new 8-year economic plan at the Amsterdam KrugerRand Collectors Convention in Yonkers next week! Be there!
We are anticipating the first sketches of the planned 3 Dollah coins from the design studios of the Republic of Bavaria's Muenchen Dasein Gmbh - with 7 heads available (with one common backside) starting with Ayn Rand, Josef Smith and five other great leaders who should have been President!
Commemorative sets will be available in the Joseph McCarthy bedroom for those visiting the White House duringInauguration Month in the year 2020. Autographed collector sets will have spent at least 11 seconds each in the right palm of incumbent President Sarah Palin - some while that blessed hand was in the pocket of her Levis! Yes! Her inauguration Levis with the authentic Russian moose blood in the pant cuffs! YES! The very moose that swam the Bering Strait DISPROVING DARWIN!
The new predestined President-for-Life Beck, known fondly as Herr Doktor President Beck to his new but predestined Council of the Twelve, will not be doing any interviews during the first 7 years of the New Age, but interviews that he might have given FOX News have been pre-recorded and are available ON SALE NOW at wwy.GOLD-IS-US.org and yww.GOD-IS-USA.net
Authentic German customers need dream no longer! Strauss and Kohl backsides are available exclusively for orders sent by Fedex or UPS from West Germany between NOW and the Last Inauguration Supper, January 32, 2013.
All quantities limited by the number of members predestined for the Orlando pre-Rapture Funfest. Leave your shoes at the airport, folks! No cameras allowed. Brief nudity possible, but only visible to service employees many of whom will not make any written record in English of any observed anatomical anomalies. And who cares anyway! The Funfest, 2012. Get wrapped up in the coming rapture!
Inspired by a new true and correct translation of the revised Koine, Dr. Beck will be introducing his new 8-year economic plan at the Amsterdam KrugerRand Collectors Convention in Yonkers next week! Be there!
We are anticipating the first sketches of the planned 3 Dollah coins from the design studios of the Republic of Bavaria's Muenchen Dasein Gmbh - with 7 heads available (with one common backside) starting with Ayn Rand, Josef Smith and five other great leaders who should have been President!
Commemorative sets will be available in the Joseph McCarthy bedroom for those visiting the White House during
The new predestined President-for-Life Beck, known fondly as Herr Doktor President Beck to his new but predestined Council of the Twelve, will not be doing any interviews during the first 7 years of the New Age, but interviews that he might have given FOX News have been pre-recorded and are available ON SALE NOW at wwy.GOLD-IS-US.org and yww.GOD-IS-USA.net
Authentic German customers need dream no longer! Strauss and Kohl backsides are available exclusively for orders sent by Fedex or UPS from West Germany between NOW and the Last Inauguration Supper, January 32, 2013.
All quantities limited by the number of members predestined for the Orlando pre-Rapture Funfest. Leave your shoes at the airport, folks! No cameras allowed. Brief nudity possible, but only visible to service employees many of whom will not make any written record in English of any observed anatomical anomalies. And who cares anyway! The Funfest, 2012. Get wrapped up in the coming rapture!
palindrome
Can propositional content constitute a semantic palindrome?
Candidate statement: Glenn Beck on "progressive" at CPAC, 2010.
As quoted by Jon Stewart [2010.02.22] (excuse the progressive date format):
how does GB know about the immanent, creeping, insidious "progressive" takeover/makeover/shakedown/hoedown of our nation/state/federal gov't/yer town & yer farm ?
From books he borrowed at the big city public library - and you should check for yourself - the books are free [JS: 1st USA public library, post-Puritan Boston, to share communal resources]
Palin rejoinder: "Yes, but Obama's leftist cronies will terrorize us all into registering for library cards! Public library cards! They will even make us use our private Social Security numbers and private zip codes - exposed on those naked cards! They will make us carry those cards - even in American designer denim jeans - even when we are driving! Even if we are driving a very safe American twin-axled, tandem-wheeled rural security vehicle! [she said "Ford Ranger" in an effort to under-cut Pahlenty, who is not net even yet a former-Gov'nor but we have printed what she meant, techincally. She did not actually emit the word "naked" but we know her masculine followers will be more likely to "Keep the faith" if excited at the same time. - Editorial Committee -]"
Bill O'riledy revision: Beck said "from Carnegie libraries or lending libraries". He never endorsed the "public option".
Future: Palin anti-terrorist committee begins tracking the borrowers of all books rather than banning some books. To avoid any appearance of bias, the chair of the committee is anonymous and not a politician (Todd, the obvious choice.)
Curiosity: Could this not have been proven more decisively by consulting the genealogical records in Salt Lake City? They are open to the public and very revealing of which less-than-true Americans are descended from "true" believers and their fellow-travelers marching to their mournful, progressive jazz tune in our slow slouch to some sea-level cemetery ... "progressive" ... the "new black" is just those same old blacks at it agin.
Note: the "Black" attendees at CPAC were all doing community service by busing tables at the convention - another innovation in the privatization of penal servitude. Hand-cleaner was not available at the podium as no-one with "aids" touched the mike [ a sign, in Spanish, on the backside of the podium's lectern clearly warned, "this microfone reserved for white speeches ONLY"]
All registered attendees voluntarily signed a waiver that being sneezed on by a "journalist" was acknowledged as a risk of stopping to speak to a mainstream hack just as it was an acknowledged risk of there being no "Bless You!" upon your sneezing when talking to a "reporter" or "member of the press". Always sneeze once into a pristine Kleenex before telling your fellow Americans what is REALLY happening to this free nation.
All paid-members were advised in writing that real FOX News journalists, contributors, commentators and analysts are all real people that you will immediately recognize from the television displays in limos, lavatories, elevators and massage rooms reserved for the convention and their trained aids will be holding the cue cards with both your question and your answer.
Disclaimer: there was no quiz before registration as cue cards had been made available prior to the convention and would be available on the spot for any candid, free-form interviews with accredited professionals of the non-mainstream media.
s
Advert: Help ban teaching aids in the classroom! Join CPAC!
Advert: Support the revolution for the new Republic of Australia! Buy only made-from-aboriginal-pulp Kleenex (available in rare collectible containers in private hospitals across the USA under the most trusted label in brand-name medical supplies (supplier name on the sterile packaging may vary by state)]
Candidate statement: Glenn Beck on "progressive" at CPAC, 2010.
As quoted by Jon Stewart [2010.02.22] (excuse the progressive date format):
how does GB know about the immanent, creeping, insidious "progressive" takeover/makeover/shakedown/hoedown of our nation/state/federal gov't/yer town & yer farm ?
From books he borrowed at the big city public library - and you should check for yourself - the books are free [JS: 1st USA public library, post-Puritan Boston, to share communal resources]
Palin rejoinder: "Yes, but Obama's leftist cronies will terrorize us all into registering for library cards! Public library cards! They will even make us use our private Social Security numbers and private zip codes - exposed on those naked cards! They will make us carry those cards - even in American designer denim jeans - even when we are driving! Even if we are driving a very safe American twin-axled, tandem-wheeled rural security vehicle! [she said "Ford Ranger" in an effort to under-cut Pahlenty, who is not net even yet a former-Gov'nor but we have printed what she meant, techincally. She did not actually emit the word "naked" but we know her masculine followers will be more likely to "Keep the faith" if excited at the same time. - Editorial Committee -]"
Bill O'riledy revision: Beck said "from Carnegie libraries or lending libraries". He never endorsed the "public option".
Future: Palin anti-terrorist committee begins tracking the borrowers of all books rather than banning some books. To avoid any appearance of bias, the chair of the committee is anonymous and not a politician (Todd, the obvious choice.)
Curiosity: Could this not have been proven more decisively by consulting the genealogical records in Salt Lake City? They are open to the public and very revealing of which less-than-true Americans are descended from "true" believers and their fellow-travelers marching to their mournful, progressive jazz tune in our slow slouch to some sea-level cemetery ... "progressive" ... the "new black" is just those same old blacks at it agin.
Note: the "Black" attendees at CPAC were all doing community service by busing tables at the convention - another innovation in the privatization of penal servitude. Hand-cleaner was not available at the podium as no-one with "aids" touched the mike [ a sign, in Spanish, on the backside of the podium's lectern clearly warned, "this microfone reserved for white speeches ONLY"]
All registered attendees voluntarily signed a waiver that being sneezed on by a "journalist" was acknowledged as a risk of stopping to speak to a mainstream hack just as it was an acknowledged risk of there being no "Bless You!" upon your sneezing when talking to a "reporter" or "member of the press". Always sneeze once into a pristine Kleenex before telling your fellow Americans what is REALLY happening to this free nation.
All paid-members were advised in writing that real FOX News journalists, contributors, commentators and analysts are all real people that you will immediately recognize from the television displays in limos, lavatories, elevators and massage rooms reserved for the convention and their trained aids will be holding the cue cards with both your question and your answer.
Disclaimer: there was no quiz before registration as cue cards had been made available prior to the convention and would be available on the spot for any candid, free-form interviews with accredited professionals of the non-mainstream media.
s
Advert: Help ban teaching aids in the classroom! Join CPAC!
Advert: Support the revolution for the new Republic of Australia! Buy only made-from-aboriginal-pulp Kleenex (available in rare collectible containers in private hospitals across the USA under the most trusted label in brand-name medical supplies (supplier name on the sterile packaging may vary by state)]
Friday, February 19, 2010
Palin tests loyalty
No, this is not some idle rehash of Palin and the librarian. The mayor did not banish or burn any books and the librarian was soon re-hired. And the police chief simply would not have been loyal. You could just tell.
No, this is about autism. You see, with the new neurology advancing at Methodist and Baptist hospitals, we are seeing that not only is manic-depressive illness a form of schizophrenia and schizophrenia a form of - well, a more colorful way of being crazy, deluded, hebephrenic or paranoid, but atheism is a form of autism.
Just as Assburgers Syndrome falls into the spectrum of autism and retardation, so does atheism and that lesser neurological syndrome, agnosticism.
The ability to experience and avow (without torture or threat of torture) the reality of the oceanic feeling is an ability of the normal human being. This is what the sociology of religion has established on an axiomatic foundation thus far. The willingness to believe and the willingness not to deny the Deity still fall under the domain of axiology and jurisprudence.
You see, when the neurological correlates of the mystic union with the Godhead were first observed at Mount Sinai General we did not realize the full implications. We thought this had something to do with overly excitable Hindoos being examined carelessly by Pakkee neurologists. Not so.
Atheism usually appears in the rebellious teenage years in children whose anti-social tendencies lead them to avoid spending time in community coffee-houses and community bookstores where they would be exposed to normal expressions of renewed faith as normal teens transcend the temptations of the flesh. Most atheist teens cannot actually name a youth pastor in whom they have confided perverted fantasies - or not confided in genuine and authentic sincerity and repentance.
The flesh is the body and the body of the near-autistic atheist is not acknowledged as the temple of the Lord and they quite literally fail to FEEL the workings of the Holy Spirit although they still feel tingling in the loins.
Indeed it has been known for years that the only thing that sustains an atheist marriage with an agnostic or Episcopalian partner is desperate sex - actual physical, but random, sexual relations. What should have begun as healthy social intercourse at carefully chaperoned Saturday afternoon sock-hops devolves into defeatist carnality with no informing Telos.
With God Incarnate and the Holy Spirit we have two modalities with which to address atheistic autism and autistic atheism: the spoken and the unspoken. It is not enough merely to fear God even for those sensible enough to fear hell-fire more.
Grace alone - and here we depart from the unwritten theology of pure Pentecostal reflections by ordinary pastors - will not heal an atheist. Getting very old can help. It has helped Anthony Flew and it may be helping Hilary Putnam.
No what is needed is communication, both spoken and unspoken. And this is where loyalty test and testing loyalty must be so carefully distinguished. The loyalty test is in the articulate verbal mode - the mode of Logos - while the testing of loyalty is one at the level of the Pneuma (Greek, as in scalding steam on the bare backsides, wounds gaping and never allowed to heal.)
In Greece, an enlightened constitution has allowed the State Church to guide both the economy and the education of young Spartans and Athenians as they prepare to reclaim Macedonia. As we all recall from our high school days, the one relied on one and the other relied on the other. When Aristotle's Army (fore-runner to the Salvation Army) failed to invade Turkey and defeat the Mohatmaddens, they failed to embrace either the Logos or the Pneuma (sometimes called Nous if you have a funny Greek typewriter for that twisted lil 's' at the end.)
It is not enough to recite the Pledge of Allegiance - "One Nation, under God" is hardly an affirmation of the doctrines necessary to understand the true Americans when they spare their own free time to speak to you of their faith. For that, you need to be open to the spirit. Here is where Alaskan Airlines comes into this sensible, common-sense solution to pre-graduation atheism: the wilderness camp.
In the Alaskan wilderness, the teen is not left to drift: the teen works a 10-hour day (no overtime for the under-21) in a six day week on privately owned oil rigs most often on open, exposed tundra in the mush of permafrost. Each rig has a Christian name, such as Faith, Hope, Charity, Limbaugh, Beck and with each passing day the brain is awakened to the spiritual reality or the high north, the true north. Our Alaskan out-rigger hard-hats play mini-cassette tapes of the non-Mormon parts of Beck's radio broadcasts, carefully selected for the intended effect. These are interspersed with long periods of subtle truly Christian country music with a truly muted message - mostly just jigs and reels.
While the forth-coming DSM [Diagnostical-Divination Statistical Manual] will continue to classify agnosticism as a pseudo-schizoid form of voluntary neurosis and atheism as sociopathic psychosis, these are only the ISM's. The victims will finally be understood as neurologically defective (spiritually retarded, if you like).
The early onset of atheism without advanced bone cancer, stomach cancer, brain cancer or repeated rape in Alabama prisons remains a medical puzzle with few ethical implications. It is thought to be related to neurasthenia and dyspepsia or as a form of undetected syphilis and non-standard dementia. Creeping agnosticism while most commonly caused by m*st*rb*t**n, pornography and anarchist leaflets is basically an indication of a non-thriving organism and such individuals, once identified by their resistance to both loyalty tests and testing loyalty should not be granted permits to reproduce (marriage license) although enforced sterilization is best reserved for atheists who chose to marry out-of-state and transport the infection across state lines when returning for weddings and funerals in their biological "families".
Rumors that more time spent fishing will cure agnosticism are unsubstantiated as some phony work was done with no NRA outdoors supervision using hooks with no real barbs in mere catch-and-release on artificially pollinated streams. There are some indications that out-right atheism can be treated with sustained fly-fishing but only near motels with the newer Gideon translations.
No, this is about autism. You see, with the new neurology advancing at Methodist and Baptist hospitals, we are seeing that not only is manic-depressive illness a form of schizophrenia and schizophrenia a form of - well, a more colorful way of being crazy, deluded, hebephrenic or paranoid, but atheism is a form of autism.
Just as Assburgers Syndrome falls into the spectrum of autism and retardation, so does atheism and that lesser neurological syndrome, agnosticism.
The ability to experience and avow (without torture or threat of torture) the reality of the oceanic feeling is an ability of the normal human being. This is what the sociology of religion has established on an axiomatic foundation thus far. The willingness to believe and the willingness not to deny the Deity still fall under the domain of axiology and jurisprudence.
You see, when the neurological correlates of the mystic union with the Godhead were first observed at Mount Sinai General we did not realize the full implications. We thought this had something to do with overly excitable Hindoos being examined carelessly by Pakkee neurologists. Not so.
Atheism usually appears in the rebellious teenage years in children whose anti-social tendencies lead them to avoid spending time in community coffee-houses and community bookstores where they would be exposed to normal expressions of renewed faith as normal teens transcend the temptations of the flesh. Most atheist teens cannot actually name a youth pastor in whom they have confided perverted fantasies - or not confided in genuine and authentic sincerity and repentance.
The flesh is the body and the body of the near-autistic atheist is not acknowledged as the temple of the Lord and they quite literally fail to FEEL the workings of the Holy Spirit although they still feel tingling in the loins.
Indeed it has been known for years that the only thing that sustains an atheist marriage with an agnostic or Episcopalian partner is desperate sex - actual physical, but random, sexual relations. What should have begun as healthy social intercourse at carefully chaperoned Saturday afternoon sock-hops devolves into defeatist carnality with no informing Telos.
With God Incarnate and the Holy Spirit we have two modalities with which to address atheistic autism and autistic atheism: the spoken and the unspoken. It is not enough merely to fear God even for those sensible enough to fear hell-fire more.
Grace alone - and here we depart from the unwritten theology of pure Pentecostal reflections by ordinary pastors - will not heal an atheist. Getting very old can help. It has helped Anthony Flew and it may be helping Hilary Putnam.
No what is needed is communication, both spoken and unspoken. And this is where loyalty test and testing loyalty must be so carefully distinguished. The loyalty test is in the articulate verbal mode - the mode of Logos - while the testing of loyalty is one at the level of the Pneuma (Greek, as in scalding steam on the bare backsides, wounds gaping and never allowed to heal.)
In Greece, an enlightened constitution has allowed the State Church to guide both the economy and the education of young Spartans and Athenians as they prepare to reclaim Macedonia. As we all recall from our high school days, the one relied on one and the other relied on the other. When Aristotle's Army (fore-runner to the Salvation Army) failed to invade Turkey and defeat the Mohatmaddens, they failed to embrace either the Logos or the Pneuma (sometimes called Nous if you have a funny Greek typewriter for that twisted lil 's' at the end.)
It is not enough to recite the Pledge of Allegiance - "One Nation, under God" is hardly an affirmation of the doctrines necessary to understand the true Americans when they spare their own free time to speak to you of their faith. For that, you need to be open to the spirit. Here is where Alaskan Airlines comes into this sensible, common-sense solution to pre-graduation atheism: the wilderness camp.
In the Alaskan wilderness, the teen is not left to drift: the teen works a 10-hour day (no overtime for the under-21) in a six day week on privately owned oil rigs most often on open, exposed tundra in the mush of permafrost. Each rig has a Christian name, such as Faith, Hope, Charity, Limbaugh, Beck and with each passing day the brain is awakened to the spiritual reality or the high north, the true north. Our Alaskan out-rigger hard-hats play mini-cassette tapes of the non-Mormon parts of Beck's radio broadcasts, carefully selected for the intended effect. These are interspersed with long periods of subtle truly Christian country music with a truly muted message - mostly just jigs and reels.
While the forth-coming DSM [Diagnostical-Divination Statistical Manual] will continue to classify agnosticism as a pseudo-schizoid form of voluntary neurosis and atheism as sociopathic psychosis, these are only the ISM's. The victims will finally be understood as neurologically defective (spiritually retarded, if you like).
The early onset of atheism without advanced bone cancer, stomach cancer, brain cancer or repeated rape in Alabama prisons remains a medical puzzle with few ethical implications. It is thought to be related to neurasthenia and dyspepsia or as a form of undetected syphilis and non-standard dementia. Creeping agnosticism while most commonly caused by m*st*rb*t**n, pornography and anarchist leaflets is basically an indication of a non-thriving organism and such individuals, once identified by their resistance to both loyalty tests and testing loyalty should not be granted permits to reproduce (marriage license) although enforced sterilization is best reserved for atheists who chose to marry out-of-state and transport the infection across state lines when returning for weddings and funerals in their biological "families".
Rumors that more time spent fishing will cure agnosticism are unsubstantiated as some phony work was done with no NRA outdoors supervision using hooks with no real barbs in mere catch-and-release on artificially pollinated streams. There are some indications that out-right atheism can be treated with sustained fly-fishing but only near motels with the newer Gideon translations.
Palin and the Pack
Some of you who follow our posts at conservative.org and at cpac.org have wondered why Marco Rubio and not Gov'nor Palin gave the uplifting address at CPAC 2010.
We know that the message had to be first: ‘2010 is a referendum on the very identity of our nation’.
A message like that needs to be written out on a complete French-cuff - from Brooks Brothers Mensa Warehouse or Armani if you've got it.
We know you felt disappointed, brooded in the let-down, sitting there with her photo in your hand.
Yes, we know that many of you who must act alone, who must use your final acts of freedom to help tear down the big government that is destroying, desolving and defaming our nation! We know that many of you could not fly your private planes from Alaska to DC. We understand that you must think nationally, but act locally!
When the very identity of our nation is at risk - a delicate virgin about to be ravaged - when our pristine freedoms will be taken away forever - now is the time to act!
And no one knows how to act the part better than Marco Rubio! Mark married the cheerleader!
While Mark has not been as active as we would like in rezoning Papa Johnstown to permit a larger Pentecostal Sanctuary - a real Panther Sanctuary where confused teens can escape from Jesuit dogmas - but unlike McCain, he is still a Conservative!
We are a Christian Nation! Do not let some Amendment to the Consteatution confuse you: the separation of Statist Policies from Revealed Truths was to limit the influence of Presbyterians at a time when Methodists were not yet Pentecostals! George Washington was not yet an Evangelical!
Yes we can tolerate a few Jews in New York - and even in Florida, where they only come to convert!
Those Polacks in Detroit were at least Catholics! Those Portugeese in Boston at least know how to do up a hotel room!
Win back the identity of America! Stop immigration from Canada! Recent revisions of census data by Christian demographers at the Family Lives Foundation have shown conclusively that the major ethnic group in America is not German Hessians, no - it is Scots-Anglo-Irish ! They traveled from the southern Scottish Highlands through London to Northern Ireland and then by potato boat to America! Restore jigs and reels, the true jazz of America and the music of fisherman from Florida to Alaska!
Help America open the first Pentecostal Mission in Kaliningrad! Help Hugh Jackman open the first Pentecostal Mission within the walls of Baghdad! Stop Israel from preventing the rebuilding of the Gardens of Babylon and needlessly postponing the Final Days!
On that final days when the bodily resurrected sinners are cast into eternal hellfire, on that day, freed of Mormons and Hindoos, we will see that it was now, in 2010, that we acted to preserve the American Identity before it is too late!
Act now! Martyrs will rise from the ashes! Over-throw statist big government! REVOLUTION!
Fact: Conservative Revolution permits the sale of government buildings to members of the private sector who embrace the Entrepreneurial Spirit. Register now at CPAC so that your name will be in the list in the Last Days of BIG Government!
Fact: Conservative Revolution provides as boost to tourism as less fortunate foreigners come by the boatload to see how we restored the American Dream!
Advert: Mark Rubio for President!
Advert: Marco Rubio talsk the talk, but JUST LIKE John MacCain he don't walk the walk! Todd Palin for Vice-President! Help launch the Conservative Dynasty! Repeal term limits! Allow the Mother of all Mothers to serve until she has reached her full term! Five Score and twenty!
Fact: Had George W. Bush and Dick Chainy been permitted to serve the number of terms which God had intended, we would have no war in Afganistan! Black Guard and Helliburnton had already arranged to redraw the British border to finally grant our ally, Pakistan, its Manifest Destiny! From Pentecostal missions in Lahore, Islameebad and Karatchee we are now able to reach the primitive people and savages of the high mountain passes. We may even discover the lost city of Shangree-Law. We are now able to house refugee Christians from India as she seeks her true Identity, denied her by Alexander the Greek's cowardice! First India, then Singapour and then Taiwan, Island Capital of all them Chinamen! The Chinks will thank us! All this in the lifetime of one, the last, the TRUE President! Paint the White House Silver-and-Gold!
Contributions from Glenn Beck were so helpful in preparing this post, but you know Glen, even though the White House is now black, we wanted to see a silver-lining. You can paint the Treasury Temple GOLD!
Paint the Smithsonian Kremlin RED!
Advert: We rely on telephone calls and e-mails from all of our supporters who are trapped in their government jobs to pay mortgages you had before you were reborn. Some of you labor in the bowels of the Pentagon, some of you in the Hilary State Department - but keep those messages of support and encouragement coming in! We now have sketches of key Vatican weaknesses from our friends at the CIA and we will manage to paratroop in the Mission at Saint Peters before the Last Days are upon us! See the Lion lay down with the Lamb in Saint Marks Square right there in the Vatican! Free Romans from the walls of the Vatican! Pope Benedict! Bring down the walls! Behold the Anti-Christ! A black man in the white house! Send funds to the the Community Christian Center in your town and help support the Universal Pentecostal Mission!
Fact: Withhold your taxes and bring about the Last Days of the IRS! The revolution is at hand! Let every man show his true colors! There is a fire burning in the House of the Nation and it is a Conservative flame!
Advert: We know the struggle to get your children to memorize only the Psalms that really belong in the Bible! Now we have the new American Bible Service! Each year we will send your child a new Bible with just the right verses for his age group. No more white-out in the Song of Saulomen! Improved translations include those of our founders: "Who has photographed a dinosaur! Who has seen global warning" [ God speaking to Jobe from the blender] A Bible in every backpack! A Bible on every IPOD. [digital versions extra.]
We know that the message had to be first: ‘2010 is a referendum on the very identity of our nation’.
A message like that needs to be written out on a complete French-cuff - from Brooks Brothers Mensa Warehouse or Armani if you've got it.
We know you felt disappointed, brooded in the let-down, sitting there with her photo in your hand.
Yes, we know that many of you who must act alone, who must use your final acts of freedom to help tear down the big government that is destroying, desolving and defaming our nation! We know that many of you could not fly your private planes from Alaska to DC. We understand that you must think nationally, but act locally!
When the very identity of our nation is at risk - a delicate virgin about to be ravaged - when our pristine freedoms will be taken away forever - now is the time to act!
And no one knows how to act the part better than Marco Rubio! Mark married the cheerleader!
While Mark has not been as active as we would like in rezoning Papa Johnstown to permit a larger Pentecostal Sanctuary - a real Panther Sanctuary where confused teens can escape from Jesuit dogmas - but unlike McCain, he is still a Conservative!
We are a Christian Nation! Do not let some Amendment to the Consteatution confuse you: the separation of Statist Policies from Revealed Truths was to limit the influence of Presbyterians at a time when Methodists were not yet Pentecostals! George Washington was not yet an Evangelical!
Yes we can tolerate a few Jews in New York - and even in Florida, where they only come to convert!
Those Polacks in Detroit were at least Catholics! Those Portugeese in Boston at least know how to do up a hotel room!
Win back the identity of America! Stop immigration from Canada! Recent revisions of census data by Christian demographers at the Family Lives Foundation have shown conclusively that the major ethnic group in America is not German Hessians, no - it is Scots-Anglo-Irish ! They traveled from the southern Scottish Highlands through London to Northern Ireland and then by potato boat to America! Restore jigs and reels, the true jazz of America and the music of fisherman from Florida to Alaska!
Help America open the first Pentecostal Mission in Kaliningrad! Help Hugh Jackman open the first Pentecostal Mission within the walls of Baghdad! Stop Israel from preventing the rebuilding of the Gardens of Babylon and needlessly postponing the Final Days!
On that final days when the bodily resurrected sinners are cast into eternal hellfire, on that day, freed of Mormons and Hindoos, we will see that it was now, in 2010, that we acted to preserve the American Identity before it is too late!
Act now! Martyrs will rise from the ashes! Over-throw statist big government! REVOLUTION!
Fact: Conservative Revolution permits the sale of government buildings to members of the private sector who embrace the Entrepreneurial Spirit. Register now at CPAC so that your name will be in the list in the Last Days of BIG Government!
Fact: Conservative Revolution provides as boost to tourism as less fortunate foreigners come by the boatload to see how we restored the American Dream!
Advert: Mark Rubio for President!
Advert: Marco Rubio talsk the talk, but JUST LIKE John MacCain he don't walk the walk! Todd Palin for Vice-President! Help launch the Conservative Dynasty! Repeal term limits! Allow the Mother of all Mothers to serve until she has reached her full term! Five Score and twenty!
Fact: Had George W. Bush and Dick Chainy been permitted to serve the number of terms which God had intended, we would have no war in Afganistan! Black Guard and Helliburnton had already arranged to redraw the British border to finally grant our ally, Pakistan, its Manifest Destiny! From Pentecostal missions in Lahore, Islameebad and Karatchee we are now able to reach the primitive people and savages of the high mountain passes. We may even discover the lost city of Shangree-Law. We are now able to house refugee Christians from India as she seeks her true Identity, denied her by Alexander the Greek's cowardice! First India, then Singapour and then Taiwan, Island Capital of all them Chinamen! The Chinks will thank us! All this in the lifetime of one, the last, the TRUE President! Paint the White House Silver-and-Gold!
Contributions from Glenn Beck were so helpful in preparing this post, but you know Glen, even though the White House is now black, we wanted to see a silver-lining. You can paint the Treasury Temple GOLD!
Paint the Smithsonian Kremlin RED!
Advert: We rely on telephone calls and e-mails from all of our supporters who are trapped in their government jobs to pay mortgages you had before you were reborn. Some of you labor in the bowels of the Pentagon, some of you in the Hilary State Department - but keep those messages of support and encouragement coming in! We now have sketches of key Vatican weaknesses from our friends at the CIA and we will manage to paratroop in the Mission at Saint Peters before the Last Days are upon us! See the Lion lay down with the Lamb in Saint Marks Square right there in the Vatican! Free Romans from the walls of the Vatican! Pope Benedict! Bring down the walls! Behold the Anti-Christ! A black man in the white house! Send funds to the the Community Christian Center in your town and help support the Universal Pentecostal Mission!
Fact: Withhold your taxes and bring about the Last Days of the IRS! The revolution is at hand! Let every man show his true colors! There is a fire burning in the House of the Nation and it is a Conservative flame!
Advert: We know the struggle to get your children to memorize only the Psalms that really belong in the Bible! Now we have the new American Bible Service! Each year we will send your child a new Bible with just the right verses for his age group. No more white-out in the Song of Saulomen! Improved translations include those of our founders: "Who has photographed a dinosaur! Who has seen global warning" [ God speaking to Jobe from the blender] A Bible in every backpack! A Bible on every IPOD. [digital versions extra.]
Palin and the Pope: science lessons
Looking through sermons published on the web, our semantic web researchers have sent us e-mail from D.C clarifying just why the Roman Catholic Church is the target of Pentecostal fury and not Islamic states with nuclear weapons.
These are not the most important e-mails that we have received - many of our friends and supporters have sent us emails revealing that the Spitzer photographs of the supposed "galaxy" more correctly named "The Andromeda Nebula" were, in fact, photo-shopped by the same team who faked the moon landing photos for NASA!
The faking of astronomical photographs has helped lull Catholics into accepting the views of the Vatican and its fallen astronomers at Castel Gondolfo - messengers of the Anti-Christ who accept both that the age if the earth is some billions of years and the the sun has been burning methane for even longer!
Only the Lutherans in Norway had been able to prevent Nobel Prizes for the astronomer-fakers who suggested that life came from amino-acids in space dust!
With the Catholic Church accepting liberal leftist science and rejecting both creationism and intelligent design, we see how the pronouncements of popes have come to out-weigh the letters of Paul to the faithful!
Fact: the photographs are generated! NO film was ever retrieved! E-mails have shown us beyond a doubt that Adobe Photoshop was used and not the free GIMP made available to all Americans in the Entrepreneurial Spirit! We have carefully correlated the pay-sheets and timecards of the federal employees named by our advisors - tax-paid "employees" with their bogus deductions detailed on their income tax returns (and we used faxes, not just word of mouth) and there is no question! But here will be a reckoning in 2012!
Keep those e-mails and faxes coming in!
Get big government out of science! Put science back in the hands of the people! No more taxes to fund liberal science! No more satellites to generate bogus "data"! Get liberal theory out of science! Get "scientists" off the payrolls of big government! Stop the "grants" and "funding"!
Advert: Dinosaurs for kids! Each package clearly states that no one ever saw one of the critters and that no one has photographs showing that the World is more than 500 years old! No cycled paper used in packaging. No products boxed or shipped from sheltered workshops for the "testing-challenged".
These are not the most important e-mails that we have received - many of our friends and supporters have sent us emails revealing that the Spitzer photographs of the supposed "galaxy" more correctly named "The Andromeda Nebula" were, in fact, photo-shopped by the same team who faked the moon landing photos for NASA!
The faking of astronomical photographs has helped lull Catholics into accepting the views of the Vatican and its fallen astronomers at Castel Gondolfo - messengers of the Anti-Christ who accept both that the age if the earth is some billions of years and the the sun has been burning methane for even longer!
Only the Lutherans in Norway had been able to prevent Nobel Prizes for the astronomer-fakers who suggested that life came from amino-acids in space dust!
With the Catholic Church accepting liberal leftist science and rejecting both creationism and intelligent design, we see how the pronouncements of popes have come to out-weigh the letters of Paul to the faithful!
Fact: the photographs are generated! NO film was ever retrieved! E-mails have shown us beyond a doubt that Adobe Photoshop was used and not the free GIMP made available to all Americans in the Entrepreneurial Spirit! We have carefully correlated the pay-sheets and timecards of the federal employees named by our advisors - tax-paid "employees" with their bogus deductions detailed on their income tax returns (and we used faxes, not just word of mouth) and there is no question! But here will be a reckoning in 2012!
Keep those e-mails and faxes coming in!
Get big government out of science! Put science back in the hands of the people! No more taxes to fund liberal science! No more satellites to generate bogus "data"! Get liberal theory out of science! Get "scientists" off the payrolls of big government! Stop the "grants" and "funding"!
Advert: Dinosaurs for kids! Each package clearly states that no one ever saw one of the critters and that no one has photographs showing that the World is more than 500 years old! No cycled paper used in packaging. No products boxed or shipped from sheltered workshops for the "testing-challenged".
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Breaking News: Palin and the Public Option
In Canadian Prime Time the Olympics were interrupted today for a news flash from "This Hour Has Twenty Minutes" confirming that a Codco news team has decyphered what Palin was trying to say in her cryptic exhortations to "Keep the faith!"
The Yiddish-speaking reporter from Cornerbrook initially had understood that she should speak to a rabbi, but we now know what Palin REALLY meant: that Canada must return to private enterprise in the Postes-Canada Post-graduate Education system. In the future, all doctorates will be DD instead of PhD - finally fulfilling the divine vision for the role of science in public administration.
When Palin was advised last year that some Catholic school boards risked being abolished in some Canadian provinces she assured listeners that federal funding for non-denominational Christian schools was a far better option. These private community schools, modeled on early Pentecostal coffee-shops and drop-in centers for destitute and bored teens had been producing pastors and Sunday school teachers for decades - whether the student was Catholic or even Methodist! (caveat: results with Presbyterians may vary.) Only the entrepreneurial spirit will ensure that Religious Knowledge will once again be a required course for each of the four years at Canadian universities (commerce and finance students exempted) in order to obtain any degree. To make room for this new requirement along with mandatory biathlon and triathlon courses, foreign language courses such a TESL, TOEFL and French will be eliminated. Students with no background in hunting and fishing may be required to do community service in the far north (limited by the availability bunkhouse space in the old CPR yards in Thunder Bay. caveat: transgender students need not apply as federal regulations mandate no co-ed housing.)
Sociological research by the Yukon Pentecostal Family Sciences Council has established that during the 1950's, when a course in Religious Knowledge was required for each year of the B.A. at the then prestigious University of Toronto, far fewer students borrowed money in order to obtain their degree and a far higher percentage were later hired to teach at the various colleges which surround the University of Toronto campus - further reducing the risk of hiring foreigners and outsiders who often prove to be left-wing agitators once they obtain tenure (many never convert, regardless of their ideology.)
Post-graduate education: what will you be doing after high-school graduation? Don't drift through five or more different colleges in search of consistent New Testament literature courses only to obtain a degree in journalism: do it right in post-graduate education leading to a degree in Communications (corporate, public or both.)
Advert: Recent High School Grads! Listen up! Unable to attend a major faith-based university? Do not despair! Many great universities offer post-graduate ADULT education! If you are willing and able to travel and willing to devote yourself to service in poor communities in developing nations, then we are sure you can obtain your correspondence degree from the Uganda Pentecostal University while doing your missionary service in sunny Uganda! African American Students: we have options for you, too! It is no longer true that only tall blonde gals succeed as missionaries in Japan and Korea! Black is the new black in our most recent missions built in some of the wealthiest areas of Seoul and Kyoto! Preference to tall and slim females willing to work in pairs. Please bikini wax before your interview in order to respect our cultural differences with males from the shorter nations. Looking for a missionary challenge where you can use your concealed carry permit? All of India awaits you! No need to learn a foreign language! They already speaka-the-English! Been collecting Gideon Bibles on your road-trip across America? Bring them to India! (shipping extra.)
Never been to Israel ? We have opportunities for you in major university student coffee houses through out the Arab-speaking world! Wanna quit binge drinking ? Saudi Arabia awaits you! (note: missionaries to Arab countries should carry personal life insurance if you expect funeral costs, including casket freight, to exceed $5000 US.) See West Africa and avoid having to learn French: Nigeria awaits your missionary zeal! Degrees in geography and tourism management will require the successful completion of a multiple choice test. Example tests are available: PayPal preferred.
The Yiddish-speaking reporter from Cornerbrook initially had understood that she should speak to a rabbi, but we now know what Palin REALLY meant: that Canada must return to private enterprise in the Postes-Canada Post-graduate Education system. In the future, all doctorates will be DD instead of PhD - finally fulfilling the divine vision for the role of science in public administration.
When Palin was advised last year that some Catholic school boards risked being abolished in some Canadian provinces she assured listeners that federal funding for non-denominational Christian schools was a far better option. These private community schools, modeled on early Pentecostal coffee-shops and drop-in centers for destitute and bored teens had been producing pastors and Sunday school teachers for decades - whether the student was Catholic or even Methodist! (caveat: results with Presbyterians may vary.) Only the entrepreneurial spirit will ensure that Religious Knowledge will once again be a required course for each of the four years at Canadian universities (commerce and finance students exempted) in order to obtain any degree. To make room for this new requirement along with mandatory biathlon and triathlon courses, foreign language courses such a TESL, TOEFL and French will be eliminated. Students with no background in hunting and fishing may be required to do community service in the far north (limited by the availability bunkhouse space in the old CPR yards in Thunder Bay. caveat: transgender students need not apply as federal regulations mandate no co-ed housing.)
Sociological research by the Yukon Pentecostal Family Sciences Council has established that during the 1950's, when a course in Religious Knowledge was required for each year of the B.A. at the then prestigious University of Toronto, far fewer students borrowed money in order to obtain their degree and a far higher percentage were later hired to teach at the various colleges which surround the University of Toronto campus - further reducing the risk of hiring foreigners and outsiders who often prove to be left-wing agitators once they obtain tenure (many never convert, regardless of their ideology.)
Post-graduate education: what will you be doing after high-school graduation? Don't drift through five or more different colleges in search of consistent New Testament literature courses only to obtain a degree in journalism: do it right in post-graduate education leading to a degree in Communications (corporate, public or both.)
Advert: Recent High School Grads! Listen up! Unable to attend a major faith-based university? Do not despair! Many great universities offer post-graduate ADULT education! If you are willing and able to travel and willing to devote yourself to service in poor communities in developing nations, then we are sure you can obtain your correspondence degree from the Uganda Pentecostal University while doing your missionary service in sunny Uganda! African American Students: we have options for you, too! It is no longer true that only tall blonde gals succeed as missionaries in Japan and Korea! Black is the new black in our most recent missions built in some of the wealthiest areas of Seoul and Kyoto! Preference to tall and slim females willing to work in pairs. Please bikini wax before your interview in order to respect our cultural differences with males from the shorter nations. Looking for a missionary challenge where you can use your concealed carry permit? All of India awaits you! No need to learn a foreign language! They already speaka-the-English! Been collecting Gideon Bibles on your road-trip across America? Bring them to India! (shipping extra.)
Never been to Israel ? We have opportunities for you in major university student coffee houses through out the Arab-speaking world! Wanna quit binge drinking ? Saudi Arabia awaits you! (note: missionaries to Arab countries should carry personal life insurance if you expect funeral costs, including casket freight, to exceed $5000 US.) See West Africa and avoid having to learn French: Nigeria awaits your missionary zeal! Degrees in geography and tourism management will require the successful completion of a multiple choice test. Example tests are available: PayPal preferred.
Palin to receive Honorary Doctorate
Rumors are afoot that the Uganda Pentecostal University will be granting an Honorary Doctor of Law to Gov'nor Palin.
The former Hugo Grotius School of Law and Professional Studies is best known for debunking claims that international law forbids burning accused homosexuals at the stake. The leading Uganda ministers have clarified that only paedophiles are burned at the stake. In the case of the sons and nephews of government ministers, most are required to do community service at the retraining center for for the sons and nephews of known homosexual politicians. The controversial "rape-conversions" are, in fact, therapeutic, part of the new government effort never to "spare the rod". Early efforts to use water-boarding to deter male prostitution near popular tourist resorts on Lake Victoria have simply proven ineffective. These are, we are told, "the Devil's terrorists" and there is only one thing that they understand.
A recent Ugandan Supreme Court decision to allow fathers to rape suspected homosexual sons in private has been misunderstood: such measures require both a permit and a documented failure of both public spanking and public flogging to deter the devils contrary to the report of the Kafka Catholic Institute on Doma Lex and Pater Familial Law. Fathers who have lost a hand due to false accusations of theft are permitted to use the mother's oldest brother as their father-surrogate (one must never flog with the left-hand as it is only used to leave the symbol the the Evil Eye when getting to know new neighbors.)
A flood of tourists from Turkey purchasing spades and shovels has led to relaxing anti-terrorist requirements such that young women traveling to Uganda in the company of only their father, their brothers or their mother's brothers shall no longer be required to purchase round-trip tickets. Uganda has been importing spades and shovels from neighboring countries ever since the Fatwa declaring that shovels and spades used to protect family honor are in fact holy relics. The Fatwa on the use of Israeli-made backhoes, once so popular in Uganda, has resulted in the current high demand. It is thought in Juneau that shovels and spades left over from the last Alaskan Gold Rush and currently in storage in Murmansk might be shipped to Uganda once the US Corp of Missionary Engineers has completed the new canal linking the Great Lakes with Lake Victoria. Fears of Communist Chinese carp have delayed the project.
Advisors from AIDS and homosexual-free Iran have been welcomed by the Ugandan Pentecostal Council of Government Ministers and their nephews as a sign of ecumenical amity. Only unwritten or unpublished legal regulations, not confidential policy, will be affected by these consultations with fellow theocrats.
It had previously been thought the the major universities which had granted doctorates (actual full-entitlement PhD's with tenured health insurance benefits) to the present President of The Ukraine and the former Romanian first lady, Dr. Ceausescu (the world's first illiterate female peasant director of a national chemistry research institute) but Roumainian is difficult to spell and Ukraine has only been independent of Russia for about as long as Alaska and could return to form Bi-yellaruss at any time which would be difficult to explain at some international conferences on climate stability and retrograde climate epicycles where they don't always speak much English or don't read so good.
It is not known if a Doctorate of Divinity will be awarded on this or a future visit of the proto-presidential couple to the American Community Christian Missions of Uganda (formerly the World Evangelical Pentecostal Missions to Uganda.)
A Doctorate in Carp Fisheries Administration will be awarded to husband Todd if his duties with the newly amalgamated FAA-NRA permit.
Advert: If you feel your airplane may be a target, rest assured: you are now in the hands of the new FAA, administered by the professionals at NRA. No target is too small for the really big guns at NRA. You will only have to read NTSB-approved gunsights on all weapons carried by our FAA-NRA marshals if you forget the chapter and verse for your in-flight sermon.. Have a FAA-N RA-ide!
Advert: New National Patriots Airlines - only catering to folks who pray without all that rocking and bric-a-brac. The pride of Kentucky! Fly in comfort with your congregation to your next national convention - at ease in our wide-bottomed seats. Head office: Nashville, TN. Remember, only Pastors, Deacons and Elders are permitted to fly Sundays (Mormons excepted.) Ticket purchases by privately-owned Fedex and UPS only, if'n y'all please: the SMSDT (Southern Mail Service and Delivery Trust) is your best choice in a Free America. The Mail Trust carries only the mail we trust! Sponsored by the family-owned House of Thurn and Taxis, home of telegraphed internet tax returns and other banking services. More than just the mail!
The former Hugo Grotius School of Law and Professional Studies is best known for debunking claims that international law forbids burning accused homosexuals at the stake. The leading Uganda ministers have clarified that only paedophiles are burned at the stake. In the case of the sons and nephews of government ministers, most are required to do community service at the retraining center for for the sons and nephews of known homosexual politicians. The controversial "rape-conversions" are, in fact, therapeutic, part of the new government effort never to "spare the rod". Early efforts to use water-boarding to deter male prostitution near popular tourist resorts on Lake Victoria have simply proven ineffective. These are, we are told, "the Devil's terrorists" and there is only one thing that they understand.
A recent Ugandan Supreme Court decision to allow fathers to rape suspected homosexual sons in private has been misunderstood: such measures require both a permit and a documented failure of both public spanking and public flogging to deter the devils contrary to the report of the Kafka Catholic Institute on Doma Lex and Pater Familial Law. Fathers who have lost a hand due to false accusations of theft are permitted to use the mother's oldest brother as their father-surrogate (one must never flog with the left-hand as it is only used to leave the symbol the the Evil Eye when getting to know new neighbors.)
A flood of tourists from Turkey purchasing spades and shovels has led to relaxing anti-terrorist requirements such that young women traveling to Uganda in the company of only their father, their brothers or their mother's brothers shall no longer be required to purchase round-trip tickets. Uganda has been importing spades and shovels from neighboring countries ever since the Fatwa declaring that shovels and spades used to protect family honor are in fact holy relics. The Fatwa on the use of Israeli-made backhoes, once so popular in Uganda, has resulted in the current high demand. It is thought in Juneau that shovels and spades left over from the last Alaskan Gold Rush and currently in storage in Murmansk might be shipped to Uganda once the US Corp of Missionary Engineers has completed the new canal linking the Great Lakes with Lake Victoria. Fears of Communist Chinese carp have delayed the project.
Advisors from AIDS and homosexual-free Iran have been welcomed by the Ugandan Pentecostal Council of Government Ministers and their nephews as a sign of ecumenical amity. Only unwritten or unpublished legal regulations, not confidential policy, will be affected by these consultations with fellow theocrats.
It had previously been thought the the major universities which had granted doctorates (actual full-entitlement PhD's with tenured health insurance benefits) to the present President of The Ukraine and the former Romanian first lady, Dr. Ceausescu (the world's first illiterate female peasant director of a national chemistry research institute) but Roumainian is difficult to spell and Ukraine has only been independent of Russia for about as long as Alaska and could return to form Bi-yellaruss at any time which would be difficult to explain at some international conferences on climate stability and retrograde climate epicycles where they don't always speak much English or don't read so good.
It is not known if a Doctorate of Divinity will be awarded on this or a future visit of the proto-presidential couple to the American Community Christian Missions of Uganda (formerly the World Evangelical Pentecostal Missions to Uganda.)
A Doctorate in Carp Fisheries Administration will be awarded to husband Todd if his duties with the newly amalgamated FAA-NRA permit.
Advert: If you feel your airplane may be a target, rest assured: you are now in the hands of the new FAA, administered by the professionals at NRA. No target is too small for the really big guns at NRA. You will only have to read NTSB-approved gunsights on all weapons carried by our FAA-NRA marshals if you forget the chapter and verse for your in-flight sermon.. Have a FAA-N RA-ide!
Advert: New National Patriots Airlines - only catering to folks who pray without all that rocking and bric-a-brac. The pride of Kentucky! Fly in comfort with your congregation to your next national convention - at ease in our wide-bottomed seats. Head office: Nashville, TN. Remember, only Pastors, Deacons and Elders are permitted to fly Sundays (Mormons excepted.) Ticket purchases by privately-owned Fedex and UPS only, if'n y'all please: the SMSDT (Southern Mail Service and Delivery Trust) is your best choice in a Free America. The Mail Trust carries only the mail we trust! Sponsored by the family-owned House of Thurn and Taxis, home of telegraphed internet tax returns and other banking services. More than just the mail!
Palin and the Pope: the post-2012 Parousia Punditry
Pundits have been asking whether the Pope will visit the White House sometime after 2012 when President Palin takes office. It is thought that it might be preferable if Vice-President Todd Palin met with the the Anti-Christ in the event that Pope Benedict has not retired by that time.
While the Palin administration will not be an openly Pentecostal administration, it will a Bible-believing administration. Secretary of State-designate Larry Kroon has already put pretenders on notice: ever since it was learned that some members of the elders of Vice-President Cheney's United Presbyterian Church were in fact known Methodists, Todd has reminded all federal employees that he is only a phone call away when vetting future Cabinet members and that those with information can e-mail him at any time.
When it was suggested that some senior Senators might meet with the Pope prior to 2012, it was noted that this could be a political quagmire as the Pope had been a Nazi in his youth in Poland.
Even the recent moves of the Pope to restore Irish bishops who had been removed for teaching creationism in their Latin classes in boys-only academies - definitely a better choice than teaching "Leda Raping the Swan" and other such Latin poetry that predated the establishment of the papacy and the false church in Rome - have not served as an answer to Palin's searing question: "How's that touchy-feely thing going for you evangelical Catholics now, eh?"
When asked whether any elders of the Eastern Orthodox Church might be present at an historic Pentecostal-Papal gab-fest, a theological advisor to the Cabinet-in-waiting has suggested that it is too soon to open a dialog with the communist churches that had so long oppressed Protestants in Russia, Southern Mongolia and Tibet.
The new Cabinet post for Missionary Service will, we understand, be open to all Protestant denominations, but it will be staffed to reflect the theology of the new White House. Hugh Jackman, spokesperson for World Visions, has been touted as a possible candidate, although his agent has been somewhat vague on his theological standpoint. It would be unfair to ask for more, as only so much theology can be conveyed in a 15-second HULU.com advert.
It is expected that the Palin IRS will be investigating the tax-free status of both Scientologist and Catholic "churches" - but only in the second mandate of the new presidency and perhaps only in its latter days. The Church of Christ Scientist and their fellow-travelers, Jehovah's Witnesses, are thought to be more suitable targets in a first term given their record in converting innocent evangelical children to their heretical pseudo-faiths.
Meanwhile, Seventh Day Adventists have been slow to respond from their community straddling the borders of Washington and Oregon somewhere south of Walla Walla to the decision by Walisa-based Walla-mart to require all "sales executives" (individual consumer account managers) to at least operate cash registers on Saturdays. As members of the board, the Palins are not thought to have much influence on daily operations so long as employees "Keep The Faith" and remember that the Holy Spirit is the best part of the Entrepreneurial Spirit (and so much easier to spell!) A closer advisor has suggested that this Sabbath ruling really is not too great a hardship for these polygamist communities where mothers can take turns working these Saturday shifts.
While the Palin administration will not be an openly Pentecostal administration, it will a Bible-believing administration. Secretary of State-designate Larry Kroon has already put pretenders on notice: ever since it was learned that some members of the elders of Vice-President Cheney's United Presbyterian Church were in fact known Methodists, Todd has reminded all federal employees that he is only a phone call away when vetting future Cabinet members and that those with information can e-mail him at any time.
When it was suggested that some senior Senators might meet with the Pope prior to 2012, it was noted that this could be a political quagmire as the Pope had been a Nazi in his youth in Poland.
Even the recent moves of the Pope to restore Irish bishops who had been removed for teaching creationism in their Latin classes in boys-only academies - definitely a better choice than teaching "Leda Raping the Swan" and other such Latin poetry that predated the establishment of the papacy and the false church in Rome - have not served as an answer to Palin's searing question: "How's that touchy-feely thing going for you evangelical Catholics now, eh?"
When asked whether any elders of the Eastern Orthodox Church might be present at an historic Pentecostal-Papal gab-fest, a theological advisor to the Cabinet-in-waiting has suggested that it is too soon to open a dialog with the communist churches that had so long oppressed Protestants in Russia, Southern Mongolia and Tibet.
The new Cabinet post for Missionary Service will, we understand, be open to all Protestant denominations, but it will be staffed to reflect the theology of the new White House. Hugh Jackman, spokesperson for World Visions, has been touted as a possible candidate, although his agent has been somewhat vague on his theological standpoint. It would be unfair to ask for more, as only so much theology can be conveyed in a 15-second HULU.com advert.
It is expected that the Palin IRS will be investigating the tax-free status of both Scientologist and Catholic "churches" - but only in the second mandate of the new presidency and perhaps only in its latter days. The Church of Christ Scientist and their fellow-travelers, Jehovah's Witnesses, are thought to be more suitable targets in a first term given their record in converting innocent evangelical children to their heretical pseudo-faiths.
Meanwhile, Seventh Day Adventists have been slow to respond from their community straddling the borders of Washington and Oregon somewhere south of Walla Walla to the decision by Walisa-based Walla-mart to require all "sales executives" (individual consumer account managers) to at least operate cash registers on Saturdays. As members of the board, the Palins are not thought to have much influence on daily operations so long as employees "Keep The Faith" and remember that the Holy Spirit is the best part of the Entrepreneurial Spirit (and so much easier to spell!) A closer advisor has suggested that this Sabbath ruling really is not too great a hardship for these polygamist communities where mothers can take turns working these Saturday shifts.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Palin and the judgment of Paris
Dateline - Paris - French tabloids buzz with the news that Todd will bring Sarah to Paris on a chartered Air Alaska B707. Naturally everyone in the café scene only has one question: where will she be having lunch with President Sarkozy's wife, the striking brunette and former model, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.
The parallels are too striking to ignore. But after the most famous mayor in America has breakfasted with the Mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë (yes! breakfasting with the socialist mayor of Paris, mais oui, la noblesse oblige!) there will be lunch with the wife of the President.
All is sure to go well, with a few key phrases neatly penciled along the pale, delicate, pink skin of each finger of her left hand: "Gardez la foie!" "Pas vraie!" "Mais oui!" "Mais non!"
And then the private tour of the Elysée museum with its great triumphal arch and - treasure and treat of the day - a private viewing of the Mona Lisa! Or as we say at the Elysée, "La Gironde".
Will this mean that the treasures of the Elysée may one day go on tour of Alaska from Juneau to Anchorage to Fairbanks and back to Anchorage? Art lovers from Nome to Barrow to Prudhoe Bay remember Sydney Laurence at the Paris Salon '84, or as we say, le Salon de Paris de mille-huit-cents-84. And now, only 16 years later, her work may again tour France!
Ah, you can see the Gov'nor buttering her morning croissant and beaming at the smiles all around ...
The parallels are too striking to ignore. But after the most famous mayor in America has breakfasted with the Mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë (yes! breakfasting with the socialist mayor of Paris, mais oui, la noblesse oblige!) there will be lunch with the wife of the President.
All is sure to go well, with a few key phrases neatly penciled along the pale, delicate, pink skin of each finger of her left hand: "Gardez la foie!" "Pas vraie!" "Mais oui!" "Mais non!"
And then the private tour of the Elysée museum with its great triumphal arch and - treasure and treat of the day - a private viewing of the Mona Lisa! Or as we say at the Elysée, "La Gironde".
Will this mean that the treasures of the Elysée may one day go on tour of Alaska from Juneau to Anchorage to Fairbanks and back to Anchorage? Art lovers from Nome to Barrow to Prudhoe Bay remember Sydney Laurence at the Paris Salon '84, or as we say, le Salon de Paris de mille-huit-cents-84. And now, only 16 years later, her work may again tour France!
Ah, you can see the Gov'nor buttering her morning croissant and beaming at the smiles all around ...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sarah Palin Redeemed
No she has not returned to our Mother Mary. She has returned to "The Lady". To Ayn Rand.
At a recent lunch with Alan Greenspan, Palin looked into her Alaskan Green Tea leaves (other guests were startled to bear witness to her rogue action of pouring the dregs of her tea into her left palm) and there she saw ... a cigarette! The symbol of our Lady of Capitalism! The Icon! As if glowing in the dark of midday in Nome on the very cusp of the winter solstice (they were in Georgetown, but we wax poetic regardless.)
We fully expect Todd Palin to follow in her conversion and to emerge as Hank Reardon "Todd" Palin. But he will still be working the phones and pumping out those e-mails of good common sense solutions. Like the revival of mercantilist doctrine (revised by Revelations newly translated from the Koine.)
No longer will Palin be reviled as a total nutter who attended 5 or more colleges just to graduate in journalism. No! For that we have ... Pamela Geller.
True, some of the Rand faithful reemerged as professional skeptics and psychologists. Sure, "The Passion of Ayn Rand" was not the Passion of Jeshua.
We are all children of Urania, tempted by Ganymede, chomping down on the bent spoon of holy telekinesis. But by Grace, and Grace alone, a Governor, redeemed.
Fact: the theory of legal tender was first expounded in "We, The Living" and not in "We".
Fact: the Fairbanks Gold Rush Fever is not contagious before puberty. We are now living in the latter days of that very fervor.
Fact: pseudo-pentecostalism like crypto-pentecostalism cannot be established by lie-detector but only by firm grappling with vipers and other deadly serpents on a "Blue" Sunday before witnesses both saved and unsaved. Note: some Evangelicals accept any Wednesday evening before a "Blue" Sunday, known as an EP proof.
Advert: Pastors, Mission leaders, lend an ear: Hoakley Signs of Arkansas and Alabama can increase your prime sermon attendance just by a change of name. Gone are the days of hard-to-read labels. Help us transform your out-dated Evangelical Pentecostal Temple into The Community Center Church of your choosing. Cafe and bookstore franchises available. Feeling like an architect manquée? That new sanctuary can rise before your very eyes! Lacking the numbers to open a record studio and press your own label? We can show you the way! We can get you back on the path! CCC, the road to JC for so many tax-free innovators. CCC, from Hoakley Signs, in these, our latter days.
At a recent lunch with Alan Greenspan, Palin looked into her Alaskan Green Tea leaves (other guests were startled to bear witness to her rogue action of pouring the dregs of her tea into her left palm) and there she saw ... a cigarette! The symbol of our Lady of Capitalism! The Icon! As if glowing in the dark of midday in Nome on the very cusp of the winter solstice (they were in Georgetown, but we wax poetic regardless.)
We fully expect Todd Palin to follow in her conversion and to emerge as Hank Reardon "Todd" Palin. But he will still be working the phones and pumping out those e-mails of good common sense solutions. Like the revival of mercantilist doctrine (revised by Revelations newly translated from the Koine.)
No longer will Palin be reviled as a total nutter who attended 5 or more colleges just to graduate in journalism. No! For that we have ... Pamela Geller.
True, some of the Rand faithful reemerged as professional skeptics and psychologists. Sure, "The Passion of Ayn Rand" was not the Passion of Jeshua.
We are all children of Urania, tempted by Ganymede, chomping down on the bent spoon of holy telekinesis. But by Grace, and Grace alone, a Governor, redeemed.
Fact: the theory of legal tender was first expounded in "We, The Living" and not in "We".
Fact: the Fairbanks Gold Rush Fever is not contagious before puberty. We are now living in the latter days of that very fervor.
Fact: pseudo-pentecostalism like crypto-pentecostalism cannot be established by lie-detector but only by firm grappling with vipers and other deadly serpents on a "Blue" Sunday before witnesses both saved and unsaved. Note: some Evangelicals accept any Wednesday evening before a "Blue" Sunday, known as an EP proof.
Advert: Pastors, Mission leaders, lend an ear: Hoakley Signs of Arkansas and Alabama can increase your prime sermon attendance just by a change of name. Gone are the days of hard-to-read labels. Help us transform your out-dated Evangelical Pentecostal Temple into The Community Center Church of your choosing. Cafe and bookstore franchises available. Feeling like an architect manquée? That new sanctuary can rise before your very eyes! Lacking the numbers to open a record studio and press your own label? We can show you the way! We can get you back on the path! CCC, the road to JC for so many tax-free innovators. CCC, from Hoakley Signs, in these, our latter days.
Sarah Palin: Pentecostal in the closet. Outing Sarah Palin, Pentecostal for JC
Yes, Mitt Romney attends a Church of Latter Day saints, but no, he is not a Mormon. Yes, Melinda Gates attends a Catholic church, but no, she is not Roman Catholic. She is just catholic in her beliefs.
And Sarah Palin, contrary to the obvious facts, is not a Pentecostal.
Here's how we know. Wikipedia, a liberal front for the left, reports that:
At ground/zero you can be sure that they release that dangerous spirit, that methane of the permafrost, that would otherwise leave on your child ... the mark of m*st*rb*tion. The mark of Cain! Your child will never be tempted by the Antichrist, Pope Benedict XXX, or his legion of devils incarnate, the Jesuits.
Jesus was not a Jew! Saul of Tarsus was a Roman! John of Jerusalem was adopted! Philo of Alexandria was another jewish hoax! The mother of Plotinus wore army boots!
We will not be labeled. We are bible -believers. Not biblical literalists. Not know-nothings. When the one true Bible is finally revealed - a single papyrus scroll with all the vowels where they belonged and only one account of Genesis, then we'll show 'em ! Keep the faith! Keep digging! It'll be in seven jars sealed with seven seals under seven feet of sand! One scroll in seven jars, the final miracle!
Links may expire: wikipedia Wasilla Bible Juneau Christians Anonymous
For permalinks, see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/permafrost
Fact: puberty can be either rapid development or rapid change or intense development or intense change. Have your child invite a Catholic! See a conversion in real-time! This is not brain-washing! This is not peer pressure! This is revival! Grace! And then if that Catholic invites two Catholics and they in turn invite two Catholics - why it will be the next miracle of the fishes!
Fact: most of our converts will have that "big white wedding". Mom's need not be alarmed on that count.
And Sarah Palin, contrary to the obvious facts, is not a Pentecostal.
Here's how we know. Wikipedia, a liberal front for the left, reports that:
Palin was born into a Roman Catholic family. Later, her family joined the Wasilla Assembly of God, a Pentecostal church, which she attended until 2002. Palin then switched to the Wasilla Bible Church because, she said, she preferred the children's ministries offered there.But the truth is that when she was living in Juneau and finally had a choice, she opted for the JCC, the Juneau Christian Center. Any why? Not because JCC has been founded in 1917 as the Bethel Pentecostal Mission as the first Pentecostal mission in Alaska precisely on the model of the Azusa Street Revival! No. Not because it was also known later at its new an expanded complex as Bethel Christian Center! No. She chose it for the ground/zero project. The only project to effectively transform puberty into evangelical zeal! Just read this:
ground/zero - the center of rapid or intense development or change.No other church in Juneau could place your child at that critical life stage: ground zero. Not even in Hiroshima. Not even in Nagasaki!
Our name speaks our purpose. At ground/zero we have a vision to develop youth that are marked by purity, passion, and the presence of God. This vision exists to create young people that will carry ground/zero as a movement, not just a meeting.
At ground/zero you can be sure that they release that dangerous spirit, that methane of the permafrost, that would otherwise leave on your child ... the mark of m*st*rb*tion. The mark of Cain! Your child will never be tempted by the Antichrist, Pope Benedict XXX, or his legion of devils incarnate, the Jesuits.
Jesus was not a Jew! Saul of Tarsus was a Roman! John of Jerusalem was adopted! Philo of Alexandria was another jewish hoax! The mother of Plotinus wore army boots!
We will not be labeled. We are bible -believers. Not biblical literalists. Not know-nothings. When the one true Bible is finally revealed - a single papyrus scroll with all the vowels where they belonged and only one account of Genesis, then we'll show 'em ! Keep the faith! Keep digging! It'll be in seven jars sealed with seven seals under seven feet of sand! One scroll in seven jars, the final miracle!
Links may expire: wikipedia Wasilla Bible Juneau Christians Anonymous
For permalinks, see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/permafrost
Fact: puberty can be either rapid development or rapid change or intense development or intense change. Have your child invite a Catholic! See a conversion in real-time! This is not brain-washing! This is not peer pressure! This is revival! Grace! And then if that Catholic invites two Catholics and they in turn invite two Catholics - why it will be the next miracle of the fishes!
Fact: most of our converts will have that "big white wedding". Mom's need not be alarmed on that count.
Sarah Palin: Putsch or Revival ?
The rogue idea of a Pentecostal Putsch versus a national Pentecostal Revival - a notion rising pure like a sweet vapor out of the American permafrost - this might be the idea whose time has come!
Out of Wasilla, a new leader emerges with a vision: let your husband make the phone calls that test for loyalty! One call to Canada should be all that Steve Harper needs: one call from Todd and commercial fishing on the Grand Banks will be restored! Todd for Cod ! Todd, the mouthpiece for cod!
With the revival of the long dormant urge to annex Canada so as to link Adventists in Walla Walla with murky evangelicals in Wasilla, annexation is sure to be welcomed by Newfoundland secessionists. But will Newfoundland renounce satanic Labrador to finally couple with Rhode Island! Nantucket! Martha's Vineyard! Catalina! Manhattan!
With ships from the Alaskan National Coast Guard enforcing the oil and gas embargo on St. Perre and Miquelon, North American Unity is at hand! Only the rise of the Pentecostal Permanent Revolution Tea Party south of the Mexico City beltway can take us further, higher, in our flight to unite our American Northwest Passage with our American Panama Canal!
First we take Newfoundland! Can Caracas be far behind! (enter, flute solo, lilting, faint; fade to FoxNews.)
Fact: the British Canada arctic lease expires in 2012, after which Northern Canadians, long trapped in the Yukon, will be free to choose France or America.
Motto: No man is an island: is wife is a bridge to anywhere!
Advert: Telephone loyalty tests: learn from the experts! Telemarketing evangelist teaches secret of the telephone handshake. Waste no more time quizzing and querying evasive public servants! No face-to-face confrontations! No reliance on third-hand lessons from Scientologists! This is not a cult! Loyalty! The new political culture! And only a phone call away! (e-mail instruction available on our BBS. PAC's welcome.)
Out of Wasilla, a new leader emerges with a vision: let your husband make the phone calls that test for loyalty! One call to Canada should be all that Steve Harper needs: one call from Todd and commercial fishing on the Grand Banks will be restored! Todd for Cod ! Todd, the mouthpiece for cod!
With the revival of the long dormant urge to annex Canada so as to link Adventists in Walla Walla with murky evangelicals in Wasilla, annexation is sure to be welcomed by Newfoundland secessionists. But will Newfoundland renounce satanic Labrador to finally couple with Rhode Island! Nantucket! Martha's Vineyard! Catalina! Manhattan!
With ships from the Alaskan National Coast Guard enforcing the oil and gas embargo on St. Perre and Miquelon, North American Unity is at hand! Only the rise of the Pentecostal Permanent Revolution Tea Party south of the Mexico City beltway can take us further, higher, in our flight to unite our American Northwest Passage with our American Panama Canal!
First we take Newfoundland! Can Caracas be far behind! (enter, flute solo, lilting, faint; fade to FoxNews.)
Fact: the British Canada arctic lease expires in 2012, after which Northern Canadians, long trapped in the Yukon, will be free to choose France or America.
Motto: No man is an island: is wife is a bridge to anywhere!
Advert: Telephone loyalty tests: learn from the experts! Telemarketing evangelist teaches secret of the telephone handshake. Waste no more time quizzing and querying evasive public servants! No face-to-face confrontations! No reliance on third-hand lessons from Scientologists! This is not a cult! Loyalty! The new political culture! And only a phone call away! (e-mail instruction available on our BBS. PAC's welcome.)
Atheist defies "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
The rumor mill has it that the son of a former governor has come out in the United States military as a morally-bankrupt atheist!
While we are not able to confirm, when a soldier goes rogue, it is almost certain to be someone who has FoxNews-worthiness.
As "one nation under the Christian God" we can ill-afford to tolerate the manicheanations of these twisted perverts - unless they happen to be the child of a FoxNews-worthy politician - or, honor be unto them, former politician.
How FoxNews will handle this: they will doubtless break-away for contributor commentary just as the liberals start the free give-and-take of unrehearsed question-and-answer.
It is reassuring to know, that the father of an child born out of wedlock is at least not gay! But an atheist! A first-born son! One they could have drowned if they had only known!
Fact: genetically-determined atheism, when determined by palm-reading, is grounds for drowning the newborn under the proposed revisions to the constitution of the Republic of Alaska.
Long live the Republic of Vermont - home to the Armed Forces stockade for unrepentant atheists (but only those who were outed by their own free will.)
Advert: new biofeedback innovation for water-boarding atheists! Accurate measurements of the dissolution of free will in even saline ice water! Accurate to 24 Fairinheight. Warning: even water-proof GSR electrodes must not be used for electro-shock or humane electrocution. call our order entry desk if not sure. Technically correct, is (technically) always your best bet!
While we are not able to confirm, when a soldier goes rogue, it is almost certain to be someone who has FoxNews-worthiness.
As "one nation under the Christian God" we can ill-afford to tolerate the manicheanations of these twisted perverts - unless they happen to be the child of a FoxNews-worthy politician - or, honor be unto them, former politician.
How FoxNews will handle this: they will doubtless break-away for contributor commentary just as the liberals start the free give-and-take of unrehearsed question-and-answer.
It is reassuring to know, that the father of an child born out of wedlock is at least not gay! But an atheist! A first-born son! One they could have drowned if they had only known!
Fact: genetically-determined atheism, when determined by palm-reading, is grounds for drowning the newborn under the proposed revisions to the constitution of the Republic of Alaska.
Long live the Republic of Vermont - home to the Armed Forces stockade for unrepentant atheists (but only those who were outed by their own free will.)
Advert: new biofeedback innovation for water-boarding atheists! Accurate measurements of the dissolution of free will in even saline ice water! Accurate to 24 Fairinheight. Warning: even water-proof GSR electrodes must not be used for electro-shock or humane electrocution. call our order entry desk if not sure. Technically correct, is (technically) always your best bet!
An obvious spallnns correction: putsch
Sarah Palin has said that Americans are ready for a revolution, but this is less convenient than a simple putsch.
"Putsch" is easier to write on the palm of your hand: forget "velvet revolution", this is the "palm putsch". The Palin palm putsch.
Why putsch and not revolution? Because in a representative democracy, when the left is the majority and elects a majority who try to organize and pass legislation as a majority the only thing sore losers have left - especially those who know they should have won, would have won and WILL win - is the putsch. Not a beer-hall putsch. A tea party putsch!
The fear of a putsch is thought to have driven the government-in-waiting to move their most recent shhadow cabinet meeting to an obscure beach hotel in Hawaii.
"Putsch" is easier to write on the palm of your hand: forget "velvet revolution", this is the "palm putsch". The Palin palm putsch.
Why putsch and not revolution? Because in a representative democracy, when the left is the majority and elects a majority who try to organize and pass legislation as a majority the only thing sore losers have left - especially those who know they should have won, would have won and WILL win - is the putsch. Not a beer-hall putsch. A tea party putsch!
The fear of a putsch is thought to have driven the government-in-waiting to move their most recent shhadow cabinet meeting to an obscure beach hotel in Hawaii.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Palin and revolution
America has never known revolution, except in name. In the greatest numbers, what Americans have known is war - civil war and foreign wars. And in lesser numbers, wars against her native peoples.
So why revolution? She must be thinking "industrial revolution" or some such.
Why not "putsch"? Armed and over-throwing tyrants. Then merely recall a constitutional convention and enforce literacy tests: no Bible knowledge, no vote. Multiple votes for small business owners. Block votes for churches (but not the Catholics.) Abortion punishable by a hanging in any churchyard. Surely the righteous shall rule.
Then restore the people's representative democracy on that renewed constitutional footing - like the solid Alaskan permafrost.
Unless a new secessionist movement and ensuing civil war is easier to plan and to execute. Like hunting moose on Fifth Avenue.
So why revolution? She must be thinking "industrial revolution" or some such.
Why not "putsch"? Armed and over-throwing tyrants. Then merely recall a constitutional convention and enforce literacy tests: no Bible knowledge, no vote. Multiple votes for small business owners. Block votes for churches (but not the Catholics.) Abortion punishable by a hanging in any churchyard. Surely the righteous shall rule.
Then restore the people's representative democracy on that renewed constitutional footing - like the solid Alaskan permafrost.
Unless a new secessionist movement and ensuing civil war is easier to plan and to execute. Like hunting moose on Fifth Avenue.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Meghan McCain on Sarah Palin's hypocrisy: satire, it was not.
Not that Meghan was lecturing or even at a lectern: here is what she said on The View.
Sarah Palin: "E is for Energy"
Some of the Palin-propping mainstream news reporters have been suggesting that palm-reading by Palin is no different than their use of cue-cards, notes and teleprompters. This seems to be the result of the prevailing confusion that the Gov is now both a pundit-analyst and a politico. The former are not required to know much and require props and prompting. Only the latter who aspire to lead need know much about a good deal.
But even supposing that a know-less party can triumph, should its leader not be able to rely on something less than LITERAL prompts? What if she had only had 2 letters and an upwards-pointing arrow scribbled on her palm. Now that would be clever, right? Even Smart! "E" would be for energy and "X" for taxes and ╧ for ... "their permafrost could melt? Gosh ... neat-oh!"
I can see Nancy Reagan, carefully writing on Ronnie's palm what had been read off someone else's palm ...
But no one is trying to palm off a pageant congeniality-gal as a world leader. With lower taxes and more defense spending we will not have to lead: we can stay at home and let the rest of the world know who to fear.
Now lets try palming that nickel again ... by 2012 we should be ready for quarters ...
But even supposing that a know-less party can triumph, should its leader not be able to rely on something less than LITERAL prompts? What if she had only had 2 letters and an upwards-pointing arrow scribbled on her palm. Now that would be clever, right? Even Smart! "E" would be for energy and "X" for taxes and ╧ for ... "their permafrost could melt? Gosh ... neat-oh!"
I can see Nancy Reagan, carefully writing on Ronnie's palm what had been read off someone else's palm ...
But no one is trying to palm off a pageant congeniality-gal as a world leader. With lower taxes and more defense spending we will not have to lead: we can stay at home and let the rest of the world know who to fear.
Now lets try palming that nickel again ... by 2012 we should be ready for quarters ...
Monday, February 8, 2010
Jack Cafferty amused by Sarah Palin
Here is the Cafferty blog.
By the way, Palin plans to lift everyone's spirits, so dust off that Gideon's Bible. We may start by reading from the Book of Revelations at the opening of each CSPAN broadcast from Capital Hill. Ah, uplifting. And, of course, non-denominational since we are only talking God and The Holy Spirit. Like in the Lord's Prayer and the revised Oath of Allegiance. May the Conservative Spirit be with you.
And in case you missed her clarification: that other trinity, oil, coal and gas, here in our green America are sources of resources. She should wanted to renew that astute observation. Sources of resources. Rather like the Bible, if you just don't think about it too long or too hard.
By the way, Palin plans to lift everyone's spirits, so dust off that Gideon's Bible. We may start by reading from the Book of Revelations at the opening of each CSPAN broadcast from Capital Hill. Ah, uplifting. And, of course, non-denominational since we are only talking God and The Holy Spirit. Like in the Lord's Prayer and the revised Oath of Allegiance. May the Conservative Spirit be with you.
And in case you missed her clarification: that other trinity, oil, coal and gas, here in our green America are sources of resources. She should wanted to renew that astute observation. Sources of resources. Rather like the Bible, if you just don't think about it too long or too hard.
The Chris Wallace interview: Palin on the perceived approach of a President
Be it ever so vague and back-pedalling, here it is: FOXNEWS
The high points:
"On national security, this perceived lackadaisical approach that he has to dealing with the terrorists."
"He has some misguided decisions that he is making that he is expecting us to just kind of sit down and shut up and accept"
"I know that polls are fickle"
The high points:
"On national security, this perceived lackadaisical approach that he has to dealing with the terrorists."
"He has some misguided decisions that he is making that he is expecting us to just kind of sit down and shut up and accept"
"I know that polls are fickle"
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Tea Party investigator reveals cover-up
A senior advisor to the Tea Party Movement (not to be confused with the Technocracy Movement or persons still obsessed with creeping freemasonry or other moribund movements) will soon reveal that the Exxon Valdez accident was caused by government regulation and that the high-cost of the so-called "environmental" clean-up was due to excessively detailed government regulations.
Alcohol consumption among tanker captains may be caused by late nights reading government regulations which interfere with natural navigation in the usual back channels.
Unlike Peru, birds native to Alaska do not migrate and only come ashore to die a natural death. Those that died at sea due to beer can plastic were not viable in the natural design.
Efforts to introduce international law into the area of regulating the native Pacific floating toothbrush will only introduce further hazards to natural navigation. Flotsam does not accumulate due to human intervention: it is a natural process resulting from the action of ocean currents which are not affected by climate change.
A subsequent Fox News report will debunk both the Gulf Stream and the Jet Stream: the former is the result of a socialist North American Drift and the latter has been shown to have none of the reported effects on the accuracy of astrological predictions.
Alcohol consumption among tanker captains may be caused by late nights reading government regulations which interfere with natural navigation in the usual back channels.
Unlike Peru, birds native to Alaska do not migrate and only come ashore to die a natural death. Those that died at sea due to beer can plastic were not viable in the natural design.
Efforts to introduce international law into the area of regulating the native Pacific floating toothbrush will only introduce further hazards to natural navigation. Flotsam does not accumulate due to human intervention: it is a natural process resulting from the action of ocean currents which are not affected by climate change.
A subsequent Fox News report will debunk both the Gulf Stream and the Jet Stream: the former is the result of a socialist North American Drift and the latter has been shown to have none of the reported effects on the accuracy of astrological predictions.
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