Palin tests loyalty

No, this is not some idle rehash of Palin and the librarian. The mayor did not banish or burn any books and the librarian was soon re-hired.  And the police chief simply would not have been loyal.  You could just tell.

No, this is about autism.  You see, with the new neurology advancing at Methodist and Baptist hospitals, we are seeing that not only is manic-depressive illness a form of schizophrenia and schizophrenia a form of - well, a more colorful way of being crazy, deluded, hebephrenic or paranoid, but atheism is a form of autism.

Just as Assburgers Syndrome falls into the spectrum of autism and retardation, so does atheism and that lesser neurological syndrome, agnosticism.

The ability to experience and avow (without torture or threat of torture) the reality of the oceanic feeling is an ability of the normal human being.  This is what the sociology of religion has established on an axiomatic foundation thus far.  The willingness to believe and the willingness not to deny the Deity still fall under the domain of axiology and jurisprudence.

You see, when the neurological correlates of the mystic union with the Godhead were first observed at Mount Sinai General we did not realize the full implications.  We thought this had something to do with overly excitable Hindoos being examined carelessly by Pakkee neurologists.  Not so.

Atheism usually appears in the rebellious teenage years in children whose anti-social tendencies lead them to avoid spending time in community coffee-houses and community bookstores where they would be exposed to normal expressions of renewed faith as normal teens transcend the temptations of the flesh.  Most atheist teens cannot actually name a youth pastor in whom they have confided perverted fantasies - or not confided in genuine and authentic sincerity and repentance.

The flesh is the body and the body of the near-autistic atheist is not acknowledged as the temple of the Lord and they quite literally fail to FEEL the workings of the Holy Spirit although they still feel tingling in the loins.

Indeed it has been known for years that the only thing that sustains an atheist marriage with an agnostic or Episcopalian partner is desperate sex - actual physical, but random, sexual relations.  What should have begun as healthy social intercourse at carefully chaperoned Saturday afternoon sock-hops devolves into defeatist carnality with no informing Telos.

With God Incarnate and the Holy Spirit we have two modalities with which to address atheistic autism and autistic atheism: the spoken and the unspoken.  It is not enough merely to fear God even for those sensible enough to fear hell-fire more.

Grace alone - and here we depart from the unwritten theology of pure Pentecostal reflections by ordinary pastors - will not heal an atheist.  Getting very old can help.  It has helped Anthony Flew and it may be helping Hilary Putnam.

No what is needed is communication, both spoken and unspoken.  And this is where loyalty test and testing loyalty must be so carefully distinguished.  The loyalty test is in the articulate verbal mode - the mode of Logos - while the testing of loyalty is one at the level of the Pneuma (Greek, as in scalding steam on the bare backsides, wounds gaping and never allowed to heal.)

In Greece, an enlightened constitution has allowed the State Church to guide both the economy and the education of young Spartans and Athenians as they prepare to reclaim Macedonia.  As we all recall from our high school days, the one relied on one and the other relied on the other.  When Aristotle's Army (fore-runner to the Salvation Army) failed to invade Turkey and defeat the Mohatmaddens, they failed to embrace either the Logos or the Pneuma (sometimes called Nous if you have a funny Greek typewriter for that twisted lil 's' at the end.)

It is not enough to recite the Pledge of Allegiance - "One Nation, under God" is hardly an affirmation of the doctrines necessary to understand the true Americans when they spare their own free time to speak to you of their faith.  For that, you need to be open to the spirit.  Here is where Alaskan Airlines comes into this sensible, common-sense solution to pre-graduation atheism: the wilderness camp.

In the Alaskan wilderness, the teen is not left to drift: the teen works a 10-hour day (no overtime for the under-21) in a six day week on privately owned oil rigs most often on open, exposed tundra in the mush of permafrost.  Each rig has a Christian name, such as Faith, Hope, Charity, Limbaugh, Beck and with each passing day the brain is awakened to the spiritual reality or the high north, the true north.  Our Alaskan out-rigger hard-hats play mini-cassette tapes of the non-Mormon parts of Beck's radio broadcasts, carefully selected for the intended effect.  These are interspersed with long periods of subtle truly Christian country music with a truly muted message - mostly just jigs and reels.

While the forth-coming DSM [Diagnostical-Divination Statistical Manual] will continue to classify agnosticism as a pseudo-schizoid form of voluntary neurosis and atheism as sociopathic psychosis, these are only the ISM's.  The victims will finally be understood as neurologically defective (spiritually retarded, if you like).

The early onset of atheism without advanced bone cancer, stomach cancer, brain cancer or repeated rape in Alabama prisons remains a medical puzzle with few ethical implications.  It is thought to be related to neurasthenia and dyspepsia or as a form of undetected syphilis and non-standard dementia.  Creeping agnosticism while most commonly caused by m*st*rb*t**n, pornography and anarchist leaflets is basically an indication of a non-thriving organism and such individuals, once identified by their resistance to both loyalty tests and testing loyalty should not be granted permits to reproduce (marriage license) although enforced sterilization is best reserved for atheists who chose to marry out-of-state and transport the infection across state lines when returning for weddings and funerals in their biological "families".

Rumors that more time spent fishing will cure agnosticism are unsubstantiated as some phony work was done with no NRA outdoors supervision using hooks with no real barbs in mere catch-and-release on artificially pollinated streams.  There are some indications that out-right atheism can be treated with sustained fly-fishing but only near motels with the newer Gideon translations.