Palin and Prophecy

We wish to apologize for having left some of our followers with the impression that the Gov'nor was unversed in Pentecostal theology (Alaskan).

It has been brought to our attention that in the Last Days we will see an historical correction.  With the Bodily Resurrection of all sinners prior to their Physical Descent into Everlasting Damnation, those Pentecostals raptured from Nagasaki and Hiroshima will be doing a quick head count BECAUSE  the mainstream Japanese press have exaggerated for years the numbers vaporized in two urban tests of tactical non-HE explosive devices, neither model of which went into full-scale production.

Imagine the chagrin of those lil' beggars who resisted the missionary message of our missions in Nagi and Hiro only to be Physically Resurrected and then moments later, Kah-phlouey! - the big non-water slide into Hell-Fire !

One of  the finer theological points, naturally, is whether the designer labels of those who experienced mere atomic vaporization will be restored to the unburnt clothing that they will leave behind upon Rapture.  In the few moments that the Resurrected Sinners are wetting their tattered undies, imagine their chagrin in seeing the odd label turned out on this sweater and that jumpsuit, knowing that they, too, could have known Prosperity Gospel and Redeeming Grace! Talk about your being predestined for a turn-around!  El Tropos!

PS
Pentecostal physicists tell us that although physically there are not enough electrons in the Universe to store the details about the identities of those who will be Physically Resurrected only to be dry-flushed to HELL, there is in fact a one, true and mighty God who can see in the dark (remember, before the ole "Let there be light!", right?) and that He has, in fact, inscribed all the necessary details on scrolls of ... Dark Matter!  The new "string" theory of  dark matter is, in fact, the curved "manifolds" or "brains" of "Scroll Theory"!