Thursday, February 18, 2010

Breaking News: Palin and the Public Option

In Canadian Prime Time the Olympics were interrupted today for a news flash from "This Hour Has Twenty Minutes" confirming that a Codco news team has decyphered what Palin was trying to say in her cryptic exhortations to "Keep the faith!"

The Yiddish-speaking reporter from Cornerbrook initially had understood that she should speak to a rabbi, but we now know what Palin REALLY meant: that Canada must return to private enterprise in the Postes-Canada Post-graduate Education system.  In the future, all doctorates will be DD instead of PhD - finally fulfilling the divine vision for the role of science in public administration.

When Palin was advised last year that some Catholic school boards risked being abolished in some Canadian provinces she assured listeners that federal funding for non-denominational Christian schools was a far better option.  These private community schools, modeled on early Pentecostal coffee-shops and drop-in centers for destitute and bored teens had been producing pastors and Sunday school teachers for decades - whether the student was Catholic or even Methodist! (caveat: results with Presbyterians may vary.)    Only the entrepreneurial spirit will ensure that Religious Knowledge will once again be a required course for each of the four years at Canadian universities (commerce and finance students exempted) in order to obtain any degree.  To make room for this new requirement along with mandatory biathlon and triathlon courses, foreign language courses such a TESL, TOEFL and French will be eliminated.  Students with no background in hunting and fishing may be required to do community service in the far north (limited by the availability bunkhouse space in the old CPR yards in Thunder Bay.  caveat: transgender students need not apply as federal regulations mandate no co-ed housing.)

Sociological research by the Yukon Pentecostal Family Sciences Council has established that during the 1950's, when a course in Religious Knowledge was required for each year of the B.A. at the then prestigious University of Toronto, far fewer students borrowed money in order to obtain their degree and a far higher percentage were later hired to teach at the various colleges which surround the University of Toronto campus - further reducing the risk of hiring foreigners and outsiders who often prove to be left-wing agitators once they obtain tenure (many never convert, regardless of their ideology.)

Post-graduate education: what will you be doing after high-school graduation?  Don't drift through five or more different colleges in search of consistent New Testament literature courses only to obtain a degree in journalism: do it right in post-graduate education leading to a degree in Communications (corporate, public or both.)

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