Sunday, February 7, 2010

Tea Party investigator reveals cover-up

A senior advisor to the Tea Party Movement (not to be confused with the Technocracy Movement or persons still obsessed with creeping freemasonry or other moribund movements) will soon reveal that the Exxon Valdez accident was caused by government regulation and that the high-cost of the so-called "environmental" clean-up was due to excessively detailed government regulations.

Alcohol consumption among tanker captains may be caused by late nights reading government regulations which interfere with natural navigation in the usual back channels.

Unlike Peru, birds native to Alaska do not migrate and only come ashore to die a natural death. Those that died at sea due to beer can plastic were not viable in the natural design.

Efforts to introduce international law into the area of regulating the native Pacific floating toothbrush will only introduce further hazards to natural navigation. Flotsam does not accumulate due to human intervention: it is a natural process resulting from the action of ocean currents which are not affected by climate change.

A subsequent Fox News report will debunk both the Gulf Stream and the Jet Stream: the former is the result of a socialist North American Drift and the latter has been shown to have none of the reported effects on the accuracy of astrological predictions.

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