speeches facts IT fallacies: SOTU #2

Palin has not cornered false "facts" and uncommon fallacies. There is still Bachmann and Foxx.  And Obama.

No mention of the Mortgage Interest Deduction or savings.  No mention of the mandatory retirement age given life expectancy.  No attempt to rethink "full employment" and the Baby-Boom retirees.

I meander through some of these topics over at http://eclectic-pencil.blogspot.com/2011/01/win-future.html in my regular blog.

Palin Beck

One demagogue to another:

"I hate violence," it said. "Our children will not have peace if politicos just capitalize on this."

What did she mean?  That to overcome the unintended effects of First Amendment rights that Americans need to exercise their intended Second Amendment rights?

Does her church teach that what is coming is "peace" and will it be for "all children" or for "our chldren"?

What is the belief concerning the likely outcome of a far-right "revolution" in America?  Federation with Canada?  US troops south of the Rio Grande?  C-5 Galaxies "repatriating" those elitist anti-Americans?

Revelations: not yet in an Amendment to the Constitution of the USA, part of a nation under a jealous God.

Palin Yahoo! News

News item.

Oh yes, or should I say "Eureka!"

The Yahoo! News item of Tue Jun 29, 3:42 pm ET was posted credits to Liz Goodwin .

In the news pic the non-sentence Latin motto for the college is in full view: "Vox Veritas Vita". 

Or as I would have this one in a mere Italian non-phrase topic sequence: Voce Verita Vita.

v. "botched"

Palin and the Baptist

In case you missed the salon.com story on Palin and the Baptist preacher who refuses to condemn all gays, lesbians and transexuals ... and think that she knows anything about Iran and the Holocaust.

Palin may have missed that course on "20th Century History for Journalism Students" when she was flip-flopping from one of her five (or was it six?) colleges before she somehow got her degree ... during the first months of the Russian invasion of Poland (that was fall 1939, Gov'nor P.) ... some Polish refugees did come to find shelter in Persia.  The Nuremberg Laws were passed BEFORE we got to work on atomic bombs.  The Warsaw Ghetto was slaughtered BEFORE the Poles were slaughtered in Warsaw (as the Russians waited east of the Vistula.)  The French police were the main force rounding up Jews in France.  Most Jews in Bulgaria - like most in Denmark - survived.  Raoul Wallenberg disappeared at the hands of the Russians.

I know - it's complicated.  Many people refused to believe the Jews were actually being gassed.  It guess it kind just happened - sorta like, you know, "dropping the big one!"  Many people believe the Iranians are trying to build nuclear weapons.  And Obama is jest afeard to drop in a few bunk-busters!  Heck, you don't go after moose with a .22 - do you Dad? (Her Dad knows all about ammunition but her got caught up in that dinosaur hoax and now thinks the World is more than 7000 years old, silly ole fool ... but he was just teaching science - it's not like he was peddling that baloney at Sunday Schools to corrupt our innocent children!)

Iran is complicated. Sometimes they call it Persia.  Sometimes they speak Farsi and then they go an get a notion to goin' back to speakin' PErsian.  Before our new CIA over-threw the Iranian government to install our friend and yours, the Shah, the Jews of Tehran lived in relative peace. Very naive of them.  The Ayatollah was living openly in France.  Only in recent years - really just since Arnold became Gov'nor -  the middle-class and professional Jews of Iran have fled to Los Angeles (oops, they are on the West Coast and may vote progressive-liberal-communist-Dimocrat.)

Was it the United States which interfered with Jews emigrating from 1946 Europe to anywhere other than Palestine?   Heck no! Were those conservative members of the State Department or liberals?  And did France help?  Should we have offerd the DP's of Europe a new home in Alaska from where they could almost see the "home" provided in Stalin's autonomous Jewish republic as far from Moscow and Leningrad as he could find on the map?  Are you kidding?  What would they know about salmon fishin' and moose hunting - and most all of that we do on Saturdays anyway!

Well. it's just so dang complicated.  And the three words "Israel", and "Iran" and "Obama" all fit neatly on one hand.  And of course Netanyahu has been organizing get-togethers - "Come on in for tea!" - at new settlements all over the West Bank and Arabs are welcome there, too! (say, Bill, is that the West Bank of the "blue" Nile or the "white" Nile? - and whose on the East Bank? - Istanbowl or Constandinopel?

Of course, if anything ever DID happen to the State of Israel, The End of Days might have to be re-scheduled - but, heck, that's happened before, right?  RAPTURE!  Moose-hunting in heaven means never having to say "re-load!" 

PS   Pelosi might be the Anti-Christ!  Cuz anything's possible, right?  You-Bitcha!
(per SarahP)

Palin at the T-intersection of the ole country road

CNN reports that

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin kicked off a Tea Party rally Saturday in Sen. Harry Reid's hometown, encouraging disgruntled Americans to "take back our country"

The call for "conservative revolution" was also made in the 1920's in Europe in what was then the Weimar Republic. Conservative fanaticism differs little from one setting to another: Russophiles for Putin, Mullahs in Iran, Iraq, Turkey, Egypt ...

Pentecostal Evangelists in Canada - a tiny minority - have been more successful in many ways than any other crank minority in influencing a conservative political movement.  Of course, Palin denies that she is a Pentecostal: she simply attends Pentecostal churches.  The approach in Canada has been to get people of the radical faith into politics under other banners.

What would a "Tea Party" in New York or Washington be today?  A riot only?  What revolution do the gun-toters imagine they are about to  ram down the people's throats?  In Canada the aims have not always been modest - but eventually moderated.

Whether Palin will sign a "Covenant of Civility" remains to be seen: her raving followers may not have such scruples.

"take back our country" - but from whom and for whom and in the name of what?  All this to abolish Social Security and Medicare?  To abolish the Federal Reserve?  To abolish the the EPA?  To "restore" single-party politics?  To remove term limits for true Christian conservatives wearing the badge of permanent revolution?

Palin's comedic Exit

Exit Glacier, really not of much interest - no moose hunting allowed and so few moose on the glacier.

So someone has allowed an unverifiable report to be leaked into the mainstream press that Exit Glacier is making an exit.  Is that really supposed to be funny?  can they not find comedy writers?

Here's the facts.  Alaskan tourism is in no way dependent on Exit Glacier.  Many old web pages continue to report that it is a day hike and tourists who take cruise ships from Seattle did not come all this way to be told to hike in their deck shoes!  FACT: you can drive right up to the "glacier" and we even have antique cars for rent, rare luxury cars, cars with real engines!

Fact: its just some ice.  A big chunk, yes, but just a chunka ice.  Forget all this hoopla about "climate change" - climate is always changing that why we have CNN for the changing weather and FOX News for the facts.

Kenai is hard to spell and how many el's are there in Seward anyway?  As for that Harding Icefield its actually an Alaskan Ice Ranch, a kinda plantation.

Advert: Available now! Genuine Alaska ice water!  Buy your chunk of the Exit Water Resource today!  Don't buy into that hoax of water on the poles of the moon - here you don't even have to take a cruiseship to the north pole in search of ice!  It's right here!  But act now, supplies are limited by demand!

Advert: CLIMATE-GATE!  Exit from Seward and you will be at the TAILGATING party of the decade!  Place your bets now on whose RV will be at the ice edge at daybreak the very next morning! (No worries foks, park rangers move the portable signs "Glacier ended here this morning" at daybreak and you can rest until the Ambien and beer wears off.)  Portable McDonalds and Burger King are park favorites!  The biggest parking lot in a state park!  Exit Glacier!  Note to campers: Septic tank disposal areas are available most anywhere right on site.

Principles, Privacy and Palin: the interview and the family.

"After an election - well, who really remembers who was Jimmy Carter's running-mate when he lost to Reagan?
You have to think about your family.  Of course, you could go on being the public's servant, say, Governor of some state that's never in the news - or you could just look out for your family.
There's the principle, not mention to the interest right now.  Suppose you could have a ghost writer, for example, and not have to worry about too many facts - well, you could have a book.  A best-seller even - if you had a really good ghost-writer with, you know, connections.  So there's all these options ...
Suppose someone offered you - asked you - to be on the Presidential ticket, well, you'd have to think of your family.  Sure, it only pays a hundred or so a year, but really good long-term benefits.  And a chance for the kids to decide if they want careers in acting or being in ad's and what not.
And then there's your looks - every year those digital cameras the Japs are making - they just pick up more and more details ever year.  It's like being spied on, once those papperhatsi get going with those new digital cameras that've got internet built right into 'em - no one will even want to go to Hawaii any more - it's just a big fishbowl!
Mayor of Fairbanks would be all right - what with the Japs catching all the fish now - probably using underwater digital cameras in their sneaky robot fishin' nets - what else is Todd gonna do?  Well yes, whaling, that would be alright ... they just eat all the fish anyways.
Does that Backman woman hunt?  I dont' know ... do they really have moose there in Minnesota?
Now a seat in the Senate, that's for at least four years, right?  And it sounds better on the campaign  trail ... Senator Palin - what about Arnold, he's a Senator isn't he? Isn't he retiring?
And then there's acting - Arnold had lots of that before - it's a bit like modeling, right?  Or standing along the sidelines at the big game, waiting for that little red light on the camera to turn all red.  It's just always so exciting!  And just once if they could use that snappy thing - you know, white and black box thing -"Take One - Palin for President".
I don't know about "Palin 'n Palin" - maybe just "Sarah 'n Todd" - like on a wedding invitation, only with pictures of the kids.  Most people can't even spell "Backman" I don't know what that Limbow is thinkin' ..
If I would've known then, well I could've ...

Hey! Look here now!  Stop that fussin' and complainin' right now!  I told you yesterday - and I'm gonna tell you just this one more time - three more weeks on this bus and then you all get the two days to fly to Juneau and back! And it's all paid for - and you just don't know when to be grateful.  And don't let me be hearing any lip!

So, what was I saying - do you have one of those little cassette players there - can we start that interview now?  I have your questions right here .. it's just photocopies you know, so I just fold it all up like that for my purse - but you can just smooth it all out there on your knee there - now Todd thought we could start with this one in the big letters at the top ... do you ever interview any movie stars?  Our pastor thinks I could be making at least one movie before the election ... it only takes a few weeks - and you don't have to be memorizing your lines anymore with the prompters they have now ... we didn't have those when I was in sports journalism and was being a sports analyst .. you had to remember what to ask the players and I didn't even have an assistant to tell me their names, you know, just to whisper it in my ear ... So, let's get started now alright?   Todd says I just look great in red, don't you think so?  You know they don't let their women wear red in Iran - makes them think like, you know, they might be having the curse - so you can wear red at home but not when you sit with your husband in those Muslin churches.  So now energy. Oh, how silly - it's first for you to ask the questions. Alright, I'm ready now ..."

Palin and Population: the next wave

Rick Sanchez will never fall for it again.  Anyone who has been in a mall or resort wave machine knows how it works!  Displace 9 meters of water and what will you get?

Same thing happened with the ticking population bomb?  Remember that hoax?  And then there was "acid rain"! That one was washed away quick enough!

And to think that these alarmists were trying to have Seattle budget for tsunami response readiness!

It is such a challenge to do the news before it happens ... it's really more of an art than a science.  But you end up asking some expert - but only because some director thinks you can't take a moment to check in The Farmer's Almanac right there on the air - we could you know - just ask the viewers to recite a Psalm while we look up the facts ...

Let's see, Nigeria.  Big place.  Not really over-populated.  Out here we just bush down some bush with an ole D7 CAT and voiley! a suburb!  A country suburb, really.

Mexico City.  Lack of suburban planning, really, if you think about it ...

And those sleepy ole volcanos - let me tell you - in Juneau we just don't panic the way they do up there in Anchorage.  A bunch of nervous nellies ...

Oh, we may have a 2012 team: Palin - Bachmann.  Forget Marsha Blackburn.  She has the wrong wave ...

Palin and Social Credit

It has been suggested that our interpretation of Gov'nor Palin's exhortation to Canadians to "Keep the Faith!" was not at all on the target.  We missed it by a moose!

What she meant was to renew our faith in Social Credit!

Across the Canadian Bible Belt, in the days before Texas oil was found in Alberta, why back then we had Baptist preachers and Social Credit.  "Bible" Bill Eberhardt, Earnest Manning. Wack-E. Bennett and The Boy Bennett.  We even had Réal "Peanut" Créditistes in what you would call your French Canada (we owe Google Translate credit for its help in this area social networking.)

Now what was Social Credit? Well I'm glad you asked.  It was not "socialist" and it was not about wild partying because it auntie-dates your credit card frauds.  No, it was the real thing.

Let me explain.  Suppose you hired yourself a steno but you told her she was a "research assistant" who just happened to half-to-know Pitman shorthand.  Now she gets to tell people that she is a research assistant and someone who is in the habit of stopping in your office for more than just a smoke and a coffee - why they hire her away from you as a research assistant but really she's their hootchie-kootchie girl if you get my drift.  Now let's just stay with the first transaction where our debit was also our credit.  We call that our double entry.  What your social credit tells you is that she did not get something from nothing.  She worked for you as a steno taking notes and fetching coffee and all the salesman liked her.  So what she had was an investment, you might say, a "credit".  Now when she goes to her new social status as a research assistant, now she draws on that credit.  But you see, no money has to change hands here apart from her minimum wage.  And even if she is still making minimum wag - by which I mean girl's minimum wage and not the working man's minimum wage, why she has carried that social credit over to her new position.

I hope that has made that clear.  Now up there in Canada those socialists from the CCF renamed themselves the NDP and some carpet-baggers from down East they call themselves Liberals so we had no choice but to call our Social Credit most anything else.  Like "progressive".  So we had our Progressive Conservatives.  Now don't you get all confused because a Liberal in your Province of the French Canada, your La Quebéc, is your died-in-the-wool anti-federal Conservative when we have to have a Federal election every 5 or 6 years when the Parliament is not per-rogued and their members out living on their per-diem.

What all this goes to show is that your economic theories they are all fine and good at your community college and what not but in business, heck no.  It's who you know and are you a Mason.  Now that goes for your politics too, where all your political theory is fine at some United Church policy meeting in the Maritimes but when it comes to talking to real Baptists and Evangelicals out in the West we understand political economy, by which we mean your Social Credit.

None of this explanation will do you much good out there in New Foundland where they wanted to have some British George's Bank for their cod fish stock.  Well we had one king George and then another and even had us a MacKenzie King and what I can tell you is this: your New Foundlander is basically your lazy fisherman who only wants to fish for his cod in the spring and bank on his cod the rest of the year.  Well without the Social Credit that meant but the one thing, your Pogie.

Now up there in Alaska they don't have the Pogie but then they don't have much fishing on account of their not hunting their fish-killing fish-a-gobbling seal, whales and mollhusks.  So I see that up there we have prime Social Credit country and if they one day strike oil, well God Bless 'Em.

Glossary: Pogie, i.e., Socialist Unemployment Insurance and Computer Retraining
Idiom: "Going on the Pogie" as in "done fishing for the summer by June".
Jargon: "retrained" i.e., someone applying for their next training course to extend their Pogie.
Politics: "Socred" - died-in-the-wool conservative.  "So-Cred" - your "big C" Socred who voted Diefenbaker in the big Federal election.

Palin and Prophecy

We wish to apologize for having left some of our followers with the impression that the Gov'nor was unversed in Pentecostal theology (Alaskan).

It has been brought to our attention that in the Last Days we will see an historical correction.  With the Bodily Resurrection of all sinners prior to their Physical Descent into Everlasting Damnation, those Pentecostals raptured from Nagasaki and Hiroshima will be doing a quick head count BECAUSE  the mainstream Japanese press have exaggerated for years the numbers vaporized in two urban tests of tactical non-HE explosive devices, neither model of which went into full-scale production.

Imagine the chagrin of those lil' beggars who resisted the missionary message of our missions in Nagi and Hiro only to be Physically Resurrected and then moments later, Kah-phlouey! - the big non-water slide into Hell-Fire !

One of  the finer theological points, naturally, is whether the designer labels of those who experienced mere atomic vaporization will be restored to the unburnt clothing that they will leave behind upon Rapture.  In the few moments that the Resurrected Sinners are wetting their tattered undies, imagine their chagrin in seeing the odd label turned out on this sweater and that jumpsuit, knowing that they, too, could have known Prosperity Gospel and Redeeming Grace! Talk about your being predestined for a turn-around!  El Tropos!

PS
Pentecostal physicists tell us that although physically there are not enough electrons in the Universe to store the details about the identities of those who will be Physically Resurrected only to be dry-flushed to HELL, there is in fact a one, true and mighty God who can see in the dark (remember, before the ole "Let there be light!", right?) and that He has, in fact, inscribed all the necessary details on scrolls of ... Dark Matter!  The new "string" theory of  dark matter is, in fact, the curved "manifolds" or "brains" of "Scroll Theory"!

Spa Rumours

Rumours reaching us by mail from Canada's capital city, Toronta, would seem to indicate that last week the Metro Capital Region was seized with panic spawned by an mis-translation of a last month's interview with Sarah Palin at a Border book-signing.

httpc://wcw.Amazon.ca, the Canadian Government Crown Web Corp owned out-right by Yahoo-Twitter Audit, Tax and Accounting (2010) [YWATA] reports on its telegraphic Rooters News Bulletin (delivery by next-week mail only) - reports, we say, that telegraph services have been swamped by orders from the Far North as remote as Thunder Bay and Nipagon.  Scouts' honour!

These unprecedented remote electric money-order "buys" are due to the unexpected hint that a re-elected government which "Keeps the Faith" would release the long awaited Three Dollar "Tweenie" coin!

The entire phoo-farrah was caused by the Canadian Cabinet Member for Bible Schools (PAC) demanding that Palin recite chapter-and-verse WHICH Bible she is a-Bible-believing.  When Palin's theological advisor stated that her Bible was based on the revised koine, local radio stations reported that each bible contained an original trinity or "triune" COIN-eh?

Canada and America: one Nation and some territories separated only by a language.

Palin may have suggested that Canada's national colours are not colour-co-ordinated with the colours of the Alaskan flag that Todd kept from his days in that other northern government, but colour via telegraph is sequential-partial-only and not yet YCMB or RGBx.

Advert:  Canadians!  Digital telegraphie is coming to northern Canadian radio-televiseur!  Register now at your town postal service bureau and pharmacy/service de pharmacie postale. [Available only south of the Yellowhead or south of the #1, which ever applies in your rural township.  Maritime service may vary with inclement weather or pulp-forest/forêt-nationale entomologic/entomologique infestation/infestation]

Public Legal Notice: Canadian/canadiens Airports/aerodromes found to have retained mention of "hangar" or "stop" in English-language documents face action under the Law to De-franglais Western Canada/La Loi sur les Nouvelles Lois Linguisitique et Sociologique (2010-38d-HRPR).  Those cited to appear before a Justice of The Peace should be prepared to recite the oath of re-allegiance in both official languages but to the original Canadian culture tune of the magistrate's choice [recent original top tunes included "Snowbird", "River of Darkness", "Danny Boy" and "Old Lang Sine".]

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Palin and the Pope: science lessons

Looking through sermons published on the web, our semantic web researchers have sent us e-mail from D.C clarifying just why the Roman Catholic Church is the target of Pentecostal fury and not Islamic states with nuclear weapons.

These are not the most important e-mails that we have received - many of our friends and supporters have sent us emails revealing that the Spitzer photographs of the supposed "galaxy" more correctly named "The Andromeda Nebula" were, in fact, photo-shopped by the same team who faked the moon landing photos for NASA!

The faking of astronomical photographs has helped lull Catholics into accepting the views of the Vatican and its fallen astronomers at Castel Gondolfo - messengers of the Anti-Christ who accept both that the age if the earth is some billions of years and the the sun has been burning methane for even longer!

Only the Lutherans in Norway had been able to prevent Nobel Prizes for the astronomer-fakers who suggested that life came from amino-acids in space dust!

With the Catholic Church accepting liberal leftist science and rejecting both creationism and intelligent design, we see how the pronouncements of popes have come to out-weigh the letters of Paul to the faithful!

Fact: the photographs are generated!  NO film was ever retrieved! E-mails have shown us beyond a doubt that Adobe Photoshop was used and not the free GIMP made available to all Americans in the Entrepreneurial Spirit!  We have carefully correlated the pay-sheets and timecards of the federal employees named by our advisors - tax-paid "employees" with their bogus deductions detailed on their income tax returns (and we used faxes, not just word of mouth) and there is no question!  But here will be a reckoning in 2012!

Keep those e-mails and faxes coming in!

Get big government out of science!  Put science back in the hands of the people!  No more taxes to fund liberal science!  No more satellites to generate bogus "data"!  Get liberal theory out of science!  Get "scientists" off the payrolls of big government!  Stop the "grants" and "funding"!

Advert: Dinosaurs for kids!  Each package clearly states that no one ever saw one of the critters and that no one has photographs showing that the World is more than 500 years old!  No cycled paper used in packaging.  No products boxed or shipped from sheltered workshops for the "testing-challenged".

Breaking News: Palin and the Public Option

In Canadian Prime Time the Olympics were interrupted today for a news flash from "This Hour Has Twenty Minutes" confirming that a Codco news team has decyphered what Palin was trying to say in her cryptic exhortations to "Keep the faith!"

The Yiddish-speaking reporter from Cornerbrook initially had understood that she should speak to a rabbi, but we now know what Palin REALLY meant: that Canada must return to private enterprise in the Postes-Canada Post-graduate Education system.  In the future, all doctorates will be DD instead of PhD - finally fulfilling the divine vision for the role of science in public administration.

When Palin was advised last year that some Catholic school boards risked being abolished in some Canadian provinces she assured listeners that federal funding for non-denominational Christian schools was a far better option.  These private community schools, modeled on early Pentecostal coffee-shops and drop-in centers for destitute and bored teens had been producing pastors and Sunday school teachers for decades - whether the student was Catholic or even Methodist! (caveat: results with Presbyterians may vary.)    Only the entrepreneurial spirit will ensure that Religious Knowledge will once again be a required course for each of the four years at Canadian universities (commerce and finance students exempted) in order to obtain any degree.  To make room for this new requirement along with mandatory biathlon and triathlon courses, foreign language courses such a TESL, TOEFL and French will be eliminated.  Students with no background in hunting and fishing may be required to do community service in the far north (limited by the availability bunkhouse space in the old CPR yards in Thunder Bay.  caveat: transgender students need not apply as federal regulations mandate no co-ed housing.)

Sociological research by the Yukon Pentecostal Family Sciences Council has established that during the 1950's, when a course in Religious Knowledge was required for each year of the B.A. at the then prestigious University of Toronto, far fewer students borrowed money in order to obtain their degree and a far higher percentage were later hired to teach at the various colleges which surround the University of Toronto campus - further reducing the risk of hiring foreigners and outsiders who often prove to be left-wing agitators once they obtain tenure (many never convert, regardless of their ideology.)

Post-graduate education: what will you be doing after high-school graduation?  Don't drift through five or more different colleges in search of consistent New Testament literature courses only to obtain a degree in journalism: do it right in post-graduate education leading to a degree in Communications (corporate, public or both.)

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Palin to receive Honorary Doctorate

Rumors are afoot that the Uganda Pentecostal University will be granting an Honorary Doctor of Law to Gov'nor Palin.

The former Hugo Grotius School of Law and Professional Studies is best known for debunking claims that international law forbids burning accused homosexuals at the stake.  The leading Uganda ministers have clarified that only paedophiles are burned at the stake.  In the case of the sons and nephews of government ministers, most are required to do community service at the retraining center for for the sons and nephews of known homosexual politicians.  The controversial "rape-conversions" are, in fact, therapeutic, part of the new government effort never to "spare the rod".  Early efforts to use water-boarding to deter male prostitution near popular tourist resorts on Lake Victoria have simply proven ineffective.  These are, we are told, "the Devil's terrorists" and there is only one thing that they understand.

A recent Ugandan Supreme Court decision to allow fathers to rape suspected homosexual sons in private has been misunderstood: such measures require both a permit and a documented failure of both public spanking and public flogging to deter the devils contrary to the report of the Kafka Catholic Institute on Doma Lex and Pater Familial Law.  Fathers who have lost a hand due to false accusations of theft are permitted to use the mother's oldest brother as their father-surrogate (one must never flog with the left-hand as it is only used to leave the symbol the the Evil Eye when getting to know new neighbors.)

A flood of tourists from Turkey purchasing spades and shovels has led to relaxing anti-terrorist requirements such that young women traveling to Uganda in the company of only their father, their brothers or their mother's brothers shall no longer be required to purchase round-trip tickets.  Uganda has been importing spades and shovels from neighboring countries ever since the Fatwa declaring that shovels and spades used to protect family honor are in fact holy relics.  The Fatwa on the use of Israeli-made backhoes, once so popular in Uganda, has resulted in the current high demand.  It is thought in Juneau that shovels and spades left over from the last Alaskan Gold Rush and currently in storage in Murmansk might be shipped to Uganda once the US Corp of Missionary Engineers has completed the new canal linking the Great Lakes with Lake Victoria.  Fears of Communist Chinese carp have delayed the project.

Advisors from AIDS and homosexual-free Iran have been welcomed by the Ugandan Pentecostal Council of Government Ministers and their nephews as a sign of ecumenical amity.  Only unwritten or unpublished legal regulations, not confidential policy, will be affected by these consultations with fellow theocrats.

It had previously been thought the the major universities which had granted doctorates (actual full-entitlement PhD's with tenured health insurance benefits) to the present President of The Ukraine and the former Romanian first lady, Dr. Ceausescu (the world's first illiterate female peasant director of a national chemistry research institute) but Roumainian is difficult to spell and Ukraine has only been independent of Russia for about as long as Alaska and could return to form Bi-yellaruss at any time which would be difficult to explain at some international conferences on climate stability and retrograde climate epicycles where they don't always speak much English or don't read so good.

It is not known if a Doctorate of Divinity will be awarded on this or a future visit of the proto-presidential couple to the American Community Christian Missions of Uganda (formerly the World Evangelical Pentecostal Missions to Uganda.)

A Doctorate in Carp Fisheries Administration will be awarded to husband Todd if his duties with the newly amalgamated FAA-NRA permit.

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Palin and the Pope: the post-2012 Parousia Punditry

Pundits have been asking whether the Pope will visit the White House sometime after 2012 when President Palin takes office.  It is thought that it might be preferable if Vice-President Todd Palin met with the the Anti-Christ in the event that Pope Benedict has not retired by that time.

While the Palin administration will not be an openly Pentecostal administration, it will a Bible-believing administration.  Secretary of State-designate Larry Kroon has already put pretenders on notice: ever since it was learned that some members of the elders of Vice-President Cheney's United Presbyterian Church were in fact known Methodists, Todd has reminded all federal employees that he is only a phone call away when vetting future Cabinet members and that those with information can e-mail him at any time.

When it was suggested that some senior Senators might meet with the Pope prior to 2012, it was noted that this could be a political quagmire as the Pope had been a Nazi in his youth in Poland.

Even the recent moves of the Pope to restore Irish bishops who had been removed for teaching creationism in their Latin classes in boys-only academies - definitely a better choice than teaching "Leda Raping the Swan" and other such Latin poetry that predated the establishment of the papacy and the false church in Rome - have not served as an answer to Palin's searing question: "How's that touchy-feely thing going for you evangelical Catholics now, eh?"

When asked whether any elders of the Eastern Orthodox Church might be present at an historic Pentecostal-Papal gab-fest, a theological advisor to the Cabinet-in-waiting has suggested that it is too soon to open a dialog with the communist churches that had so long oppressed Protestants in Russia, Southern Mongolia and Tibet.

The new Cabinet post for Missionary Service will, we understand, be open to all Protestant denominations, but it will be staffed to reflect the theology of the new White House.  Hugh Jackman, spokesperson for World Visions, has been touted as a possible candidate, although his agent has been somewhat vague on his theological standpoint.  It would be unfair to ask for more, as only so much theology can be conveyed in a 15-second HULU.com advert.

It is expected that the Palin IRS will be investigating the tax-free status of both Scientologist and Catholic "churches" - but only in the second mandate of the new presidency and perhaps only in its latter days.  The Church of Christ Scientist and their fellow-travelers, Jehovah's Witnesses, are thought to be more suitable targets in a first term given their record in converting innocent evangelical children to their heretical pseudo-faiths.

Meanwhile, Seventh Day Adventists have been slow to respond from their community straddling the borders of Washington and Oregon somewhere south of Walla Walla to the decision by Walisa-based Walla-mart to require all "sales executives" (individual consumer account managers) to at least operate cash registers on Saturdays.  As members of the board, the Palins are not thought to have much influence on daily operations so long as employees "Keep The Faith" and remember that the Holy Spirit is the best part of the Entrepreneurial Spirit (and so much easier to spell!)  A closer advisor has suggested that this Sabbath ruling really is not too great a hardship for these polygamist communities where mothers can take turns working these Saturday shifts.

Palin and the judgment of Paris

Dateline - Paris - French tabloids buzz with the news that Todd will bring Sarah to Paris on a chartered Air Alaska B707.  Naturally everyone in the café scene only has one question: where will she be having lunch with President Sarkozy's wife, the striking brunette and former model, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.


The parallels are too striking to ignore. But after the most famous mayor in America has breakfasted with the Mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë (yes! breakfasting with the socialist mayor of Paris, mais oui, la noblesse oblige!) there will be lunch with the wife of the President.


All is sure to go well, with a few key phrases neatly penciled along the pale, delicate, pink skin of each finger of her left hand: "Gardez la foie!" "Pas vraie!"  "Mais oui!" "Mais non!"


And then the private tour of the Elysée museum with its great triumphal arch and - treasure and treat of the day - a private viewing of the Mona Lisa!  Or as we say at the Elysée, "La Gironde".


Will this mean that the treasures of the Elysée may one day go on tour of Alaska from Juneau to Anchorage to Fairbanks and back to Anchorage?  Art lovers from Nome to Barrow to Prudhoe Bay remember Sydney Laurence at the Paris Salon '84, or as we say, le Salon de Paris de mille-huit-cents-84.  And now, only 16 years later, her work may again tour France!


Ah, you can see the Gov'nor buttering her morning croissant and beaming at the smiles all around ...

Sarah Palin Redeemed

No she has not returned to our Mother Mary.  She has returned to "The Lady". To Ayn Rand.

At a recent lunch with Alan Greenspan, Palin looked into her Alaskan Green Tea leaves (other guests were startled to bear witness to her rogue action of pouring the dregs of her tea into her left palm) and there she saw ... a cigarette!  The symbol of our Lady of Capitalism! The Icon!  As if glowing in the dark of midday in Nome on the very cusp of the winter solstice (they were in Georgetown, but we wax poetic regardless.)

We fully expect Todd Palin to follow in her conversion and to emerge as Hank Reardon "Todd" Palin.  But he will still be working the phones and pumping out those e-mails of good common sense solutions.  Like the revival of mercantilist doctrine (revised by Revelations newly translated from the Koine.)

No longer will Palin be reviled as a total nutter who attended 5 or more colleges just to graduate in journalism.  No!  For that we have ... Pamela Geller.

True, some of the Rand faithful reemerged as professional skeptics and psychologists.  Sure, "The Passion of Ayn Rand" was not the Passion of Jeshua.

We are all children of Urania, tempted by Ganymede, chomping down on the bent spoon of holy telekinesis.  But by Grace, and Grace alone, a Governor, redeemed.

Fact: the theory of legal tender was first expounded in "We, The Living" and not in "We".

Fact: the Fairbanks Gold Rush Fever is not contagious before puberty.  We are now living in the latter days of that very fervor.

Fact: pseudo-pentecostalism like crypto-pentecostalism cannot be established by lie-detector but only by firm grappling with vipers and other deadly serpents on a "Blue" Sunday before witnesses both saved and unsaved.  Note: some Evangelicals accept any Wednesday evening before a "Blue" Sunday, known as an EP proof.

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Sarah Palin: Pentecostal in the closet. Outing Sarah Palin, Pentecostal for JC

Yes, Mitt Romney attends a Church of Latter Day saints, but no, he is not a Mormon.  Yes, Melinda Gates attends a Catholic church, but no, she is not Roman Catholic.  She is just catholic in her beliefs.

And Sarah Palin, contrary to the obvious facts, is not a Pentecostal.

Here's how we know.  Wikipedia, a liberal front for the left, reports that:

Palin was born into a Roman Catholic family. Later, her family joined the Wasilla Assembly of God, a Pentecostal church, which she attended until 2002. Palin then switched to the Wasilla Bible Church because, she said, she preferred the children's ministries offered there.

 But the truth is that when she was living in Juneau and finally had a choice, she opted for the JCC, the Juneau Christian Center.  Any why?  Not because JCC has been founded in 1917 as the Bethel Pentecostal Mission as the first Pentecostal mission in Alaska precisely on the model of the Azusa Street Revival!  No.  Not because it was also known later at its new an expanded complex as Bethel Christian Center!  No.  She chose it for the ground/zero project.  The only project to effectively transform puberty into evangelical zeal!  Just read this:

ground/zero - the center of rapid or intense development or change.

Our name speaks our purpose. At ground/zero we have a vision to develop youth that are marked by purity, passion, and the presence of God.  This vision exists to create young people that will carry ground/zero as a movement, not just a meeting.

No other church in Juneau could place your child at that critical life stage: ground zero.  Not even in Hiroshima.  Not even in Nagasaki!

At ground/zero you can be sure that they release that dangerous spirit, that methane of the permafrost, that would otherwise leave on your child ... the mark of m*st*rb*tion.  The mark of Cain!  Your child will never be tempted by the Antichrist, Pope Benedict XXX, or his legion of devils incarnate, the Jesuits.

Jesus was not a Jew!  Saul of Tarsus was a Roman!  John of Jerusalem was adopted!  Philo of Alexandria was another jewish hoax!  The mother of Plotinus wore army boots!

We will not be labeled.  We are bible -believers.  Not biblical literalists.  Not know-nothings.  When the one true Bible  is finally revealed -  a single papyrus scroll with all the vowels where they belonged and only one account of Genesis, then we'll show 'em !  Keep the faith!  Keep digging!  It'll be in seven jars sealed with seven seals under seven feet of sand!  One scroll in seven jars, the final miracle!

Links may expire: wikipedia  Wasilla Bible  Juneau Christians Anonymous

For permalinks, see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/permafrost

Fact: puberty can be either rapid development or rapid change or intense development or intense change.  Have your child invite a Catholic!  See a conversion in real-time!  This is not brain-washing!  This is not peer pressure!  This is revival!  Grace!  And then if that Catholic invites two Catholics and they in turn invite two Catholics - why it will be the next miracle of the fishes!

Fact: most of our converts will have that "big white wedding".  Mom's need not be alarmed on that count.

Palin and revolution

America has never known revolution, except in name.  In the greatest numbers, what Americans have known is war - civil war and foreign wars.  And in lesser numbers, wars against her native peoples.

So why revolution?  She must be thinking "industrial revolution" or some such.

Why not "putsch"?  Armed and over-throwing tyrants. Then merely recall a constitutional convention and enforce literacy tests: no Bible knowledge, no vote.  Multiple votes for small business owners.  Block votes for churches (but not the Catholics.)  Abortion punishable by a hanging in any churchyard.  Surely the righteous shall rule.

Then restore the people's representative democracy on that renewed constitutional footing - like the solid Alaskan permafrost.

Unless a new secessionist movement and ensuing civil war is easier to plan and to execute.  Like hunting moose on Fifth Avenue.

Jack Cafferty amused by Sarah Palin

Here is the Cafferty blog.

By the way, Palin plans to lift everyone's spirits, so dust off that Gideon's Bible.  We may start by reading from the Book of Revelations at the opening of each CSPAN broadcast from Capital Hill.  Ah, uplifting.  And, of course, non-denominational since we are only talking God and The Holy Spirit.  Like in the Lord's Prayer and the revised Oath of Allegiance.  May the Conservative Spirit be with you.

And in case you missed her clarification: that other trinity, oil, coal and gas, here in our green America are sources of resources.  She should wanted to renew that astute observation.  Sources of resources.  Rather like the Bible, if you just don't think about it too long or too hard.